Game designer spills beans on chubby-fancying chap with his stolen Mac
'He's f*cked with the wrong nerd', rages bloke
A video game designer says he's planning to cash in on his story of spying on a chubby-fancying pr0n-lover who came into possession of his stolen laptop.
The London-based designer, who prefers to remain anonymous, is looking to monetise his (NSFW) Plumpergeddon blog detailing his surveillance of his Macbook Pro’s new owner.
The computer has been MIA since an incident in October 2011.
All our informant remembers is waking up on Oxford Street when the sun came up to find his Macbook Pro had gone, along with his credit cards, which were subsequently to used to run up a £7,000 bill.
He decided to track the laptop, using software called Hidden, and then began releasing images and other details of the man who ended up with his missing laptop, whom he christened "Plumpy" after witnessing him sign up for a “plumper pass” at a porn site dedicated to, ahem, larger ladies.
Screencaps from the missing machine revealed the unknown connoisseur's predilection for the more rotund female form. One of the more lurid pics surged to the top of Reddit with 75,000 hits.
Now, after amassing a dirty dossier of lurid snaps and videos, the robbery victim says he wants to start making some cash from the blog he started to document the online activities of his laptop's new possessor.
The angry blogger said:
“He fucked with the wrong nerd ... The more people I can drive through the blog and the slower I can drip-feed tasty morsels of information, the better for me.”
He added: “It makes me feel better about the huge negative effect this experience had on me, such as getting the fear of hearing my bank's hold music and getting nervous in central London where it happened, particularly with valuables in my bag.”
The hapless games designer originally started his blog after becoming frustrated with the Metropolitan Police’s failure to solve the crime.
After a tense four week wait following the theft, the man who ended up in possession of the Macbook accidentally released the lock controls on Hidden, allowing him to begin downloading almost 2GB of screen captures and unwitting selfies of Plumpy, as well as accurate geolocation and Wi-Fi hotspot data.
At first, Plumpy blocked the camera using sellotape. But one day Plumpy decided to remove the tape, revealing him to the full scrutiny of his observer.
“I'm not a religious man but I was praying for the day he'd remove it,” the laptop's legitimate owner blogged. “Then one day he had a video chat with a pair of large ladies in bikinis. And the rest, as they say, is history.”
After amassing material at the beginning of last year, the testy blogger decided to release it into the public domain after becoming angry with the police apparently failing to act on the information he provided them with.
Despite the uncertainty as to exactly how "Plumpy" might have come into possession of the laptop, the author is unapologetic about the blog, which he now plans to expand with video content of the unwitting subject.
“My plan was always to go public with this if the police failed to act. I don't feel a connection with him as such but I am at last feeling some closure. And it's a lot of fun.
“I mailed the Met [police] for a case status update a month ago (and blogged it) to be sure I wasn't stepping on police toes. The Office of the Information Commissioner was cc'd in their reply but didn't bother contacting me with any further details. I warned him a year ago I'd go public if they didn't act, so now I am.” ®