Feeds

Hard luck lads, todger size DOES matter: Official

Being tall and masculine also helps, says stiff stiff

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

NSFWish Boffins bearing tape measures appear to have confirmed that in the trouser department, size really does matter.

But it's not the only thing prospective mates are eyeing when they give chaps the once-over.

In fact, todger size "interacts with body shape and height to determine male sexual attractiveness", so that a "greater shoulder-to-hip ratio" and a head closer to the stratosphere will also win chaps plus points.

To arrive at this finding, a team of biologists headed by Brian Mautz used data on Italian men to knock up 343 computer-generated male figures in various configurations.

Then 105 women were each exposed to a random selection of 53 of the models, and asked to rate them on a scale of one to seven.

 Male figures representing average (center) and extremes (left and right) in height, shoulder-to-hip ratio, and penis size. Pic: Brian Mautz

How do you measure up? Average (centre) and extremes (left and right) in height, shoulder-to-hip ratio, and penis size

Although the first thing that popped up was "that penis size influences male attractiveness", Mautz warned that "the relationship isn't a straight line".

Regarding size alone, for example, "attractiveness increased quickly until flaccid penis length reached 7.6 centimeters (about 3 inches) and then began to slow down".

Taking physical build on board, "if one of the model men was tall and had a masculine, V-shaped torso with broad shoulders and narrower hips, he was considered more attractive than his shorter, stockier counterparts, regardless of penis size".

These "taller fitter figures" were, though, considered even more desirable if they were well hung, and even if they were heading into cocktail sausage territory, "a smaller penis was less of a detriment ... than it was to shorter or potato-shaped" guys.

In their abstract, the boffins summarise: "Penis size had a stronger effect on attractiveness in taller men than in shorter men. There was a similar increase in the positive effect of penis size on attractiveness with a more masculine body shape."

The upshot of all this is that the results "support the hypothesis that female mate choice could have driven the evolution of larger penises in humans" - at least in our unclothed male ancestors subjected to "direct precopulatory female mate choice based on male genital traits".

In the end, though, overall attractiveness is the key to getting your end away, Mautz noted. Without this, even the biggest spam javelin in the history of humanity is unlikely to make much impression on the ladies. ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.