Feeds

Texan contends iPod EXPLODED IN HER FACE

One moment music, then a life consumed by 'mental anguish'

SANS - Survey on application security programs

Apple is being sued by a Nacogdoches, Texas, woman who claims that her iPod touch exploded in her face.

We'll let the cool and dispassionate language of her complaint, filed in the US District Court for the Eastern District of Texas and repeated word-for-word for your perusal, recount the frightening tale of the unfortunate Tina King and her satanic iPod touch:

  • On February 22, 2011, Plaintiff was at her home utilizing her iTouch.
  • On February 22, 2011, Plaintiff, Tina King, was laying in her bed with her ITOUCH listening to music.
  • On said date and at said time, Plaintiff, Tina King immediately felt a burning sensation on her eye.
  • On said date and at said time, Plaintiff, Tina King immediately got up and realized her ITOUCH had exploded and burnt her eye.

And thus a pleasant, private moment of lyrical languor was transformed into a harrowing encounter with a demon from the pits of Cupertino, one that "suddenly and without warning exploded, sending electrical shock causing injury to the eye."

Exactly how the exploding iPod touch transmitted an electric shock to the eye of its victim remains unspoken.

As a result of her injury, the lawsuit contends, King not only faced medical bills of an astronomical "amount in excess of $600.00," she also "continues to suffer both physical and mental conditions which will cause her to suffer pain, mental distress, emotional distress, and otherwise for the rest of her life."

The rest of her life – ¡pobrecita!

And that's not the half of it. The suit also alleges that "Plaintiff has, in addition to the losses and damages afore described, experienced pain, suffering, scarring, disability, mental anguish, loss of enjoyment of the usual activities of daily life."

That must have been one heck of a burning sensation.

Apple, the suit alleges, not only provided King with the explosive digital music player in question, but also hid from her its covert maliciousness. "At no point in time was Plaintiff, warned of any potential risk that the subject ITOUCH would fail or that there was a risk of serious bodily injury associated with the ITOUCH," the complaint contends.

That maleficence, coupled with King's mental anguish and loss of enjoyment of the usual activities of daily life, could be ameliorated by a judgment "in excess of" $75,000, plus punitive damages to be determined at trial, "but in excess of" $75,000.

And then, of course, there are lawyers fees, interest fees, litigation costs, and unspecified "special damages" judged to be, of course, "in excess of" $75,000.

That may sound like a pretty penny, but remember, the poor iPod touch victim suffered $600 worth of hurt that will haunt her for the rest of her life.

And $75,000 may not be as much as the $225,000 for which Apple was sued for an earlier exploding iPod touch – but, after all, that one went kablooey in a young man's pants.

Face or nether regions? In our judgment, the reparation differential is just. ®

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

More from The Register

next story
WTF happened to Pac-Man?
In his thirties and still afraid of ghosts
Reg man builds smart home rig, gains SUPREME CONTROL of DOMAIN – Pics
LightwaveRF and Arduino: Bright ideas for dim DIYers
Leaked pics show EMBIGGENED iPhone 6 screen
Fat-fingered fanbois rejoice over Chinternet snaps
Apple patent LOCKS drivers out of their OWN PHONES
I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't let you text that
Microsoft signs Motorola to Android patent pact – no, not THAT Motorola
The part that Google never got will play ball with Redmond
Happy 25th birthday, Game Boy!
Monochrome handset ushered in modern mobile gaming era
Slip your finger in this ring and unlock your backdoor, phone, etc
Take a look at this new NFC jewellery – why, what were you thinking of?
Rounded corners? Pah! Amazon's '3D phone has eye-tracking tech'
Now THAT'S what we call a proper new feature
Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon flying broadband-bot
prev story

Whitepapers

Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.