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Quit the 2D internet, flee your cave, and GET LAID, barks rock star

Jack White's charming message for Record Store Day

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Rock star Jack White, formerly of The White Stripes and The Dead Weather, has told fans to switch off the "two-dimensional" internet, get out of their "cave" and start experiencing something in "the real world".

Recently appointed as an ambassador for the world's official Record Store Day, the musician has been getting into the spirit of the event, posting a 500-word manifesto yesterday about how the web is stopping humans hanging out in music stores, smelling the vinyl and chatting each other up in person:

Out there, people are still talking to each other face-to-face, exchanging ideas and turning each other on. Art houses are showing films, people are drinking coffee and telling tall tales, women and men are confusing each other and record stores are selling discs full of soul that you haven’t felt yet.  So why do we choose to hide in our caves and settle for replication?

We assume by "caves", he means rooms with internet-connected computers. "There's no romance in a mouse click," White continues. "There's no beauty in sitting for hours playing video games."

White mulls the changing nature of recording technology:

How can record shops (or any shop for that matter) compete with Netflix, TiVo, video games that take months to complete, cable, texting, the Internet, etc. etc? Getting out of your chair at home to experience something in the real world has started to become a rare occurrence, and to a lot of people, an unnecessary one.

But we feel he doesn't really give us a convincing reason to jack in the PC:

The internet is two-dimensional, helpful and entertaining, but no replacement for face-to-face interaction with a human being.

Surely he has to admit that even the best human beings don't know train timetables or the five-day weather forecast off by heart - unlike the internet.

"Let's wake each other up," White concluded (there's an iPhone alarm app for that). More thoughts on record Stores and virtual reality can be found on the Record Store Day website. ®

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