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Toy train company bids for West Coast Mainline

Miniature wooden rolling stock will deliver excellent service, no delays and seats for all

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We offer the Vulture Central tip of the hat today to toy train outfit Bigjigs for its audacious bid to run the UK's West Coast Mainline rail franchise.

For those of you not up to speed on the West Coast Mainline fiasco, entertain yourselves with this blow-by-blow account down at the Beeb as to how the nation that invented the railway was reduced to stumping up a substantial wad of taxpayers' wonga for the benefit of watching a privatised three-ring rail circus.

Mercifully for long-suffering passengers, there is now hope that neither FirstGroup nor Virgin will finally grasp control of the franchise. Back in October, Bigjigs made its pitch to the Department for Transport:

The Bigjigs letter to the Department for Transport

Well, we invite readers to raise a pint to the DfT for this response:

The DfT response to the Bigjigs letter

Superb. Bigjigs says it is "going to make a few minor changes to the bid and resubmit it", so watch this space to see if a proper railway company can create order out of the West Coast Mainline chaos. ®

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Shock Horror

Human with sense of humour found masquerading as Civil Servant.

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"Your model now adorns my desk"

Typical. Backhanders in the bidding process.

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Re: Human after all!

Sir Humphrey:

Well briefly, Minister, I am the Permanent Under Secretary of State, known as the Permanent Secretary. Woolley here is your Principal Private Secretary. I too have a Principal Private Secretary and he is the Principal Private Secretary to the Permanent Secretary. Directly responsible to me are ten Deputy Secretaries, 87 Under Secretaries and 219 Assistant Secretaries. Directly responsible to the Principal Private Secretaries are plain Private Secretaries, and the Prime Minister will be appointing two Parliamentary Under-Secretaries and you will be appointing your own Parliamentary Private Secretary.

Hacker: Can they all type?

Sir Humphrey: None of us can type. Mrs Mackay types: she's the secretary.

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