Feeds

Help-desk hell: Can YOU beat this iPad-winning tale of woe?

Support desks, sysadmins jockey for fondleslab prize

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

A competition to find the best help-desk tale of despair, with an iPad up for grabs for the winner, has solicited a collection of bizarre and amusing anecdotes.

Long-suffering IT technicians submitted their best yarns of dealing with users' problems to the "Confessions of an IT Professional" contest over the last two months. There were enough stories to fill two series of the The IT Crowd, the British sitcom of IT dept bods fed up of asking users: "Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

The Panda Security-sponsored contest ended on 31 October and the winner was André Geada from Portugal, who received an Apple fondleslab after his anecdote, published below, received the most votes in an online poll:

Client (on the phone): Oh, I'm seeing the mouse pointer move on its own.

Me: Yes, sir. It's me. I've already got remote access to your computer. I will solve your problem right away.

Client: Oh, that's nice. Do you want me to turn on the lights? Maybe you'll see better.

Other amusing stories of help-desk hell shared by participants included:

It was December 28, and my mother had a problem with the PC because she didn’t know how to access the internet, and I told her: “You need to open the window and that’s it.” And she spent the Christmas holidays with a big cold.

A user was having trouble printing documents. He told me that the computer said it can't find printer, adding: "I've tried turning the computer screen to face the printer, but the computer can't see the printer."


A client was having trouble with his fax and called me. When asked to try and send a test page to me, he faxed his company price list. I solved his problem and we ended the call. A few minutes later he called back and said: "I am not sure I should have sent that list, can you fax it back to me?"


Help-desk: “Please go to 'My PC'.” User: “Do I have to go there? Take into account that I am in another building.”


“I have a problem when writing my password. I tried to enter my password and the only thing I see are asterisks.”

Panda ran the competition as a means to plug its Panda Cloud Systems Management remote control and monitoring technology. Other help-desk software packages are available, of course. May contain nuts. ®

Share your tales of help-desk hell in our forum right here.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Go beyond APM with real-time IT operations analytics
How IT operations teams can harness the wealth of wire data already flowing through their environment for real-time operational intelligence.
How to determine if cloud backup is right for your servers
Two key factors, technical feasibility and TCO economics, that backup and IT operations managers should consider when assessing cloud backup.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?