US condom rules 'will cause nasty RED RINGS on porn stars' todgers'
'Typical' smut stud too well equipped to wear FDA rubbers
City of Angels porn actors will in future be required to sport condoms for their performances after Los Angeles County voters gave the thumbs up to the "Safer Sex in the Adult Film Industry Act", aka "Measure B".
The act was proposed to prevent "thousands of performers contracting preventable sexually transmitted infections, including gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, hepatitis, and HIV", as a result of not slipping on a rubber.
That's all well and good, but according to UK "Condom Revolutionary" Joe Nelson, of custom johnny purveyor TheyFit.com, Measure B simply doesn't measure up in the trouser department.
He notes that the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) requires condoms to be at least 170mm (6.6in) in length, with a nominal width of 47-57mm - that's the width at the opening when laid flat, not to be confused with the diameter of the French letter when, er, in use.
At the maximum width, the condom will have a circumference of 114mm. Nelson explains: "Now, for a comfortable fit you want a maximum latex stretch of 25 per cent - anything more and you start to get a nasty red ring in the flesh as the latex 'cuts in'."
Since 114mm x 1.25 = 142.5mm, if you're packing a todger girth of more than 142.5mm, it's "game over for comfort and pleasure".
Nelson claims the "typical" porn star swells to 180mm of girth - requiring a nominal width of 64-69mm - so you can see the FDA-approved dimensions are seriously going to cramp the smut hunk's style.
A quick shufti online reveals that stateside grumble-flick artists can buy products such as the Durex XXL, which boasts a truly equine 228.6mm length, but a width of just 54mm. Alternatively, there's the Trojan Supra, 200mm in length, and which appears to be non-FDA compliant with a width of 58mm.
British studs, on the other hand, can readily obtain protection suitably sized for their impressive engorgements, but it's illegal to import these into the US.
Evidently, Los Angeles County voters were unaware of just how genuinely restricting Measure B's restrictions will prove. It remains to be seen just how much of a squeeze the law will put on LA's porn industry. ®