Feeds

El Reg seeks hoardiest reader for crap-stashtic honour

Buried under useless junk? Send us proof, if you can find your camera...

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

Competition A couple of weeks back, Alistair Dabbs rang a few bells among Reg readers with his "Why can't I throw anything away?" lament - a harrowing tale of a man threatened both by a growing mountain of redundant tech and a wife determined to declutter chez Dabbs.

Mountain of computer junk

Right, where did I leave that ZX81 16kB RAM pack?

According to your comments, he's not alone in filling the attic/basement/garage with useless kit which, of course, cannot be disposed of because one day, without a shadow of a doubt, it will prove absolutely vital to have to hand a ZX81 16kB RAM pack, an Iomega zip drive and a box of 1980s disco classics on cassette.

The problem is, as many of you noted, as soon as you throw something out, you immediately need it. This scientifically proven* phenomenon is clearly not understood by those disturbed individuals whose sole possessions are a mobile phone, tablet PC, an Ikea faux beech coffee table to put the tablet on, a plate, knife, fork and spoon, a mug and kettle, three spare pairs of underpants and socks and a single framed photo of their mother, which acts as the sole adornment on the walls of their bleached white Bauhaus living cube.

So, we're inviting you lot to show the Spartan non-believers to what lengths the hoarders among us will go to ensure an example of every conceivable item is available at all times, albeit after a two-day search with sniffer dogs, specialist tunnelling teams and ground-penetrating radar.

Send snaps of your magnificent mess to me here, and we'll put the best to the traditional public vote to find El Reg's hoardiest reader.

The prize for the winner will be a copy of No More Clutter by Sue Kay, described as "the ultimate guide to liberating ourselves from the tyranny of clutter".

Naturally, the lucky recipient can decide whether he or she wants to take the book's advice, or sling it in a box in the garage along with the bundled instruction manuals for various antediluvian computers and 300 back issues of National Geographic...®

Bootnote

*See Dumpster and Skipman, Disposal-Provoked Acute Necessity: An Empirical Study, p123-145, Journal of Improbable Coincidences, August 2008.

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
GRAV WAVE DRAMA: 'Big Bang echo' may have been grit on the scanner – boffins
Exit Planet Dust on faster-than-light expansion of universe
SpaceX Dragon cargo truck flies 3D printer to ISS: Clawdown in 3, 2...
Craft berths at space station with supplies, experiments, toys
That glass of water you just drank? It was OLDER than the SUN
One MEELLION years older. Some of it anyway
Big dinosaur wowed females with its ENORMOUS HOOTER
That's right, Doris, I've got biggest snout in the prehistoric world
Japanese volcano eruption reportedly leaves 31 people presumed dead
Hopes fade of finding survivors on Mount Ontake
Relive the death of Earth over and over again in Extinction Game
Apocalypse now, and tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that ...
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.