Feeds

El Reg seeks hoardiest reader for crap-stashtic honour

Buried under useless junk? Send us proof, if you can find your camera...

SANS - Survey on application security programs

Competition A couple of weeks back, Alistair Dabbs rang a few bells among Reg readers with his "Why can't I throw anything away?" lament - a harrowing tale of a man threatened both by a growing mountain of redundant tech and a wife determined to declutter chez Dabbs.

Mountain of computer junk

Right, where did I leave that ZX81 16kB RAM pack?

According to your comments, he's not alone in filling the attic/basement/garage with useless kit which, of course, cannot be disposed of because one day, without a shadow of a doubt, it will prove absolutely vital to have to hand a ZX81 16kB RAM pack, an Iomega zip drive and a box of 1980s disco classics on cassette.

The problem is, as many of you noted, as soon as you throw something out, you immediately need it. This scientifically proven* phenomenon is clearly not understood by those disturbed individuals whose sole possessions are a mobile phone, tablet PC, an Ikea faux beech coffee table to put the tablet on, a plate, knife, fork and spoon, a mug and kettle, three spare pairs of underpants and socks and a single framed photo of their mother, which acts as the sole adornment on the walls of their bleached white Bauhaus living cube.

So, we're inviting you lot to show the Spartan non-believers to what lengths the hoarders among us will go to ensure an example of every conceivable item is available at all times, albeit after a two-day search with sniffer dogs, specialist tunnelling teams and ground-penetrating radar.

Send snaps of your magnificent mess to me here, and we'll put the best to the traditional public vote to find El Reg's hoardiest reader.

The prize for the winner will be a copy of No More Clutter by Sue Kay, described as "the ultimate guide to liberating ourselves from the tyranny of clutter".

Naturally, the lucky recipient can decide whether he or she wants to take the book's advice, or sling it in a box in the garage along with the bundled instruction manuals for various antediluvian computers and 300 back issues of National Geographic...®

Bootnote

*See Dumpster and Skipman, Disposal-Provoked Acute Necessity: An Empirical Study, p123-145, Journal of Improbable Coincidences, August 2008.

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Fancy joining Reg hack on quid-a-day challenge?
Recruiting now for charity starvation diet
Red-faced LOHAN team 'fesses up in blown SPEARS fuse fiasco
Standing in the corner, big pointy 'D' hats
KILLER SPONGES menacing California coastline
Surfers are safe, crustaceans less so
LOHAN's Punch and Judy show relaunches Thursday
Weather looking good for second pop at test flights
Discovery time for 200m WONDER MATERIALS shaved from 4 MILLENNIA... to 4 years
Alloy, Alloy: Boffins in speed-classification breakthrough
Curiosity finds not-very-Australian-shaped rock on Mars
File under 'messianic pastries' and move on, people
Elon Musk's LEAKY THRUSTER gas stalls Space Station supply run
Helium seeps from Falcon 9 first stage, delays new legs for NASA robonaut
Top Secret US payload launched into space successfully
Clandestine NRO spacecraft sets off on its unknown mission
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.