Feeds

El Reg seeks hoardiest reader for crap-stashtic honour

Buried under useless junk? Send us proof, if you can find your camera...

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Competition A couple of weeks back, Alistair Dabbs rang a few bells among Reg readers with his "Why can't I throw anything away?" lament - a harrowing tale of a man threatened both by a growing mountain of redundant tech and a wife determined to declutter chez Dabbs.

Mountain of computer junk

Right, where did I leave that ZX81 16kB RAM pack?

According to your comments, he's not alone in filling the attic/basement/garage with useless kit which, of course, cannot be disposed of because one day, without a shadow of a doubt, it will prove absolutely vital to have to hand a ZX81 16kB RAM pack, an Iomega zip drive and a box of 1980s disco classics on cassette.

The problem is, as many of you noted, as soon as you throw something out, you immediately need it. This scientifically proven* phenomenon is clearly not understood by those disturbed individuals whose sole possessions are a mobile phone, tablet PC, an Ikea faux beech coffee table to put the tablet on, a plate, knife, fork and spoon, a mug and kettle, three spare pairs of underpants and socks and a single framed photo of their mother, which acts as the sole adornment on the walls of their bleached white Bauhaus living cube.

So, we're inviting you lot to show the Spartan non-believers to what lengths the hoarders among us will go to ensure an example of every conceivable item is available at all times, albeit after a two-day search with sniffer dogs, specialist tunnelling teams and ground-penetrating radar.

Send snaps of your magnificent mess to me here, and we'll put the best to the traditional public vote to find El Reg's hoardiest reader.

The prize for the winner will be a copy of No More Clutter by Sue Kay, described as "the ultimate guide to liberating ourselves from the tyranny of clutter".

Naturally, the lucky recipient can decide whether he or she wants to take the book's advice, or sling it in a box in the garage along with the bundled instruction manuals for various antediluvian computers and 300 back issues of National Geographic...®

Bootnote

*See Dumpster and Skipman, Disposal-Provoked Acute Necessity: An Empirical Study, p123-145, Journal of Improbable Coincidences, August 2008.

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
SECRET U.S. 'SPACE WARPLANE' set to return from SPY MISSION
Robot minishuttle X-37B returns after almost 2 years in orbit
LOHAN crash lands on CNN
Overflies Die Welt en route to lively US news vid
Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box
Phytosanitary treatment renders Vulture 2 crate fit for export
You can crunch it all you like, but the answer is NOT always in the data
Hear that, 'data journalists'? Our analytics prof holds forth
Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody
Cringeworthy, crude and crass jokes abound in Steven Erikson’s sci-fi debut
Origins of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE fished out of SCOTTISH LAKE
Fossil find proves it first happened 385 million years ago
America's super-secret X-37B plane returns to Earth after nearly TWO YEARS aloft
674 days in space for US Air Force's mystery orbital vehicle
NASA eyeballs SOLAR HEAT BOMBS, MINI-TORNADOES and NANOFLARES on Sun
Astro boffins probe fiery star's hidden depths
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.