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Debenhams cafes ban outré terms like 'espresso' and 'cappuccino'

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The words "espresso" and "cappuccino" are too confusing for customers, says high-street retailer Debenhams. The department store chain will instead introduce moron-friendly descriptions, such as "frothy coffee", in its 160 cafes.

Out go several descriptions it deems too "fancy" - even "tall" and "grande" have been slung out, the retailer admits. Punters will be offered a patronising choice of a cup or a mug instead.

A few examples are here:

Black coffee is Simple coffee – with or without milk; Caffe latte is Really really milky coffee; Cappuccino is Frothy coffee; Caffe mocha is Chocolate flavoured coffee; Espresso shot is A shot of strong coffee

"Really really" patronising

Debenhams also denied it was covering transparent roof canopies in its stores to ensure shoppers are not "frightened by aeroplanes". (Actually it hasn't - we made that up. But we wouldn't be surprised if it did.) ®

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