Feeds

Facebook's CHAIR sat on by 1 billion people ... bitch

Ad campaign launched to fluff up Zuck's brand

Build a business case: developing custom apps

It's official: Facebook is like a chair. Or a plane. Or a nation. And it's apparently especially true now that the dominant social network has passed the 1 billion user mark.

CEO Mark Zuckerberg said on the site today that it was "very special" for him to be celebrating having so many people connecting together on his website.

The 28-year-old billionaire who co-founded the network in his Harvard dorm in 2004 when he famously described the people entering their details into the site back then as "dumb fucks" is no longer - publicly, at least - dubbing Facebookers as chumps for handing over so much personal data.

And the company's own strategy boutique has now got in on the act by producing a video-ad that frankly is batshit crazy.

While Google might like to describe its offering as a "platform", Facebook goes one better than that because it is a chair.

"Anyone can sit on a chair," a soothing female voice informs us. Essentially, that is why "Facebook is like a chair".

The analogy is pushed to the limits and widened out to include comparing Facebook to planes, a dance floor, the game of basketball and even a great nation.

In fact the ad is playing on a conceit previously floated by Zuck, who has said that the network was a bit like the world's third biggest country.

The copper-haired boss of Facebook has been pressing the flesh in Russia this week and – quelle surprise – the advert will now be heavily trailed there.

The social network's ad campaign will also run in 12 other countries where the company is either looking to expand its userbase, or else presumably attempt to charm its more mature markets. So Brazil, France, Germany, India, Japan the UK and the US are among the nations who will see the commercial air on their telly screens.

Zuckerberg felt it was necessary to explain why Facebook needed an advert right now, without once mentioning Wall Street or the outfit's flailing shares.

For the first time in our history, we've made a brand video to express what our place is on this earth. We believe that the need to open up and connect is what makes us human. It's what brings us together. It's what brings meaning to our lives.

He goes on to say that Facebook is a member of a special club that's all about connection. Hence, the weird obsession with chairs. Vulture Central can't help but ask: Can we please have some of what you're smoking, Zuck? ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Microsoft exits climate denier lobby group
ALEC will have to do without Redmond, it seems
Caught red-handed: UK cops, PCSOs, specials behaving badly… on social media
No Mr Fuzz, don't ask a crime victim to be your pal on Facebook
Barnes & Noble: Swallow a Samsung Nook tablet, please ... pretty please
Novelslab finally on sale with ($199 - $20) price tag
Ballmer leaves Microsoft board to spend more time with his b-balls
From Clippy to Clippers: Hi, I see you're running an NBA team now ...
Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE
Can't face sea of wobbling fondle implements. What happened to lighters, eh?
Video of US journalist 'beheading' pulled from social media
Yanked footage featured British-accented attacker and US journo James Foley
Amazon takes swipe at PayPal, Square with card reader for mobes
Etailer plans to undercut rivals with low transaction fee offer
Assange™: Hey world, I'M STILL HERE, ignore that Snowden guy
Press conference: ME ME ME ME ME ME ME (cont'd pg 94)
Call of Duty daddy considers launching own movie studio
Activision Blizzard might like quality control of a CoD film
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 10 endpoint backup mistakes
Avoid the ten endpoint backup mistakes to ensure that your critical corporate data is protected and end user productivity is improved.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.