Feeds

Facebook's CHAIR sat on by 1 billion people ... bitch

Ad campaign launched to fluff up Zuck's brand

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

It's official: Facebook is like a chair. Or a plane. Or a nation. And it's apparently especially true now that the dominant social network has passed the 1 billion user mark.

CEO Mark Zuckerberg said on the site today that it was "very special" for him to be celebrating having so many people connecting together on his website.

The 28-year-old billionaire who co-founded the network in his Harvard dorm in 2004 when he famously described the people entering their details into the site back then as "dumb fucks" is no longer - publicly, at least - dubbing Facebookers as chumps for handing over so much personal data.

And the company's own strategy boutique has now got in on the act by producing a video-ad that frankly is batshit crazy.

While Google might like to describe its offering as a "platform", Facebook goes one better than that because it is a chair.

"Anyone can sit on a chair," a soothing female voice informs us. Essentially, that is why "Facebook is like a chair".

The analogy is pushed to the limits and widened out to include comparing Facebook to planes, a dance floor, the game of basketball and even a great nation.

In fact the ad is playing on a conceit previously floated by Zuck, who has said that the network was a bit like the world's third biggest country.

The copper-haired boss of Facebook has been pressing the flesh in Russia this week and – quelle surprise – the advert will now be heavily trailed there.

The social network's ad campaign will also run in 12 other countries where the company is either looking to expand its userbase, or else presumably attempt to charm its more mature markets. So Brazil, France, Germany, India, Japan the UK and the US are among the nations who will see the commercial air on their telly screens.

Zuckerberg felt it was necessary to explain why Facebook needed an advert right now, without once mentioning Wall Street or the outfit's flailing shares.

For the first time in our history, we've made a brand video to express what our place is on this earth. We believe that the need to open up and connect is what makes us human. It's what brings us together. It's what brings meaning to our lives.

He goes on to say that Facebook is a member of a special club that's all about connection. Hence, the weird obsession with chairs. Vulture Central can't help but ask: Can we please have some of what you're smoking, Zuck? ®

The essential guide to IT transformation

More from The Register

next story
6 Obvious Reasons Why Facebook Will Ban This Article (Thank God)
Clampdown on clickbait ... and El Reg is OK with this
No, thank you. I will not code for the Caliphate
Some assignments, even the Bongster decline must
Kaspersky backpedals on 'done nothing wrong, nothing to fear' blather
Founder (and internet passport fan) now says privacy is precious
TROLL SLAYER Google grabs $1.3 MEEELLION in patent counter-suit
Chocolate Factory hits back at firm for suing customers
Mozilla's 'Tiles' ads debut in new Firefox nightlies
You can try turning them off and on again
Primetime precrime? Minority Report TV series 'being developed'
I have to know. I have to find out what happened to my life
Sit tight, fanbois. Apple's '$400' wearable release slips into early 2015
Sources: time to put in plenty of clock-watching for' iWatch
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Backing up Big Data
Solving backup challenges and “protect everything from everywhere,” as we move into the era of big data management and the adoption of BYOD.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?