Feeds

Vote now for the ULTIMATE BACON SARNIE

The moment of porcine truth has arrived...

Top three mobile application threats

Poll Right, you lovely people, the moment has arrived to settle once and for all that matter of most monumentous moment: just what constitutes the ultimate bacon sarnie.

As you'll recall, the porcine polemic kicked off when we pitched German delicacy Bauernfrühstück against the sacred pork-based assemblage in one of our post-pub nosh deathmatches.

After considerable and heated reader debate, we invited photographic submissions of your contenders for the title. Those of you who weren't too hung over - or indeed still gobbing of in comments - rose magnificently to the challenge.

Too magnificently, it must be said. Please spare a thought for this poor hack who had to wade through the bacon sarnie snaps, and only managed an hour before succumbing to the overwhelming urge to nip to the kitchen and knock together... a bacon sarnie.

Another couple of hours of cropping and resizing your pics and the situation began to get serious, given that I'd blown my entire bacon supply on the first porkfest.

I battled away until mid-afternoon, at which point it became impossible to continue in the face of a computer screen bursting with bacon goodness.

Consider yourselves warned, then. I'd advise having the frying pan on standby before eyeballing our entries.

And here they are, presented more-or-less in order of sarnie purity/number of ingredients/culinary improbability:

The Classic Jumbo

Adam's jumbo sarnie from his local sandwich shop

We kick off with Adam Egan, who presents a bacon jumbo from his local sandwich shop.

He said: "I add a little brown sauce and there you have it :) Not elaborate, but it is a bacon sarnie!"

The A90 Behemoth

Neil Cardy's massive bacon sarnie from a cafe on the A90

Another classic here from Neil Cardy, courtesy of the The Horn Cafe between Dundee and Perth on the A90. He explained: "Masses of bacon to set you up for the journey south." Note the brown sauce element.

The Unholy Wholemeal Bap

Bruce L's bacon sarnie, with cuppa

Bruce L described the substrate for his copious bacon creation as "some sort of seed-strewn wholemeal bap", which we're sure will go against him in the voting.

He did, however, wisely deploy butter, and noted that the essential accompaniment to the sarnie is a "giant mug of tea", which is "elevated from refreshing but basic hot beverage to nectar of the gods by simple application of: 1) any greasy food, in this case the bacon butty and 2) several pints too many of one's favourite ale."

The Gourmet Toasted

Chris Winpenny's part-toasted, gourmet presentation

Reg regular Chris Winpenny declined to provide any description of his sarnie, but the nouvelle cuisine presentation leads us to suspect the involvement of Marco Pierre White, and that accordingly, this bacon creation will set you back £35.

The Precision Engineer

SuperTim's bacon bounty sarnie

SuperTim's recipe for pork-based success is as follows:

1. Take an unsliced white sandwich loaf with thick soft crust and hand cut to 18mm slices. Lightly toast to an even golden brown.
2. Use 6 rashers of good quality smoked or sweet-cured back bacon and grill on both sides between two cooling racks until the fat is crispy.
3. Using the best quality brown sauce you can find, squeeze a generous zigzag onto the bottom slice of toast using a narrow tipped squeezy bottle.
4. Lay 3 rashers alternating wide and narrow ends on the sauce, then repeat a second zigzag. Lay the second three rashers on top and add a third layer of sauce.
5. Finally top with the second slice and cut in half to make two oblong sarnies.

"Serve with a cold glass of freshly squeezed orange to banish those hangover blues!" he enthused.

We're impressed with the 18mm bread requirement here. Just to be clear, that's not 17mm or 19mm...

The Lipsmacking Lindsay

Construction phases for Harvey's Lindsay sarnie

Harvey Trowell provided a series of construction steps, as you can see. He elaborated: "This bad boy has Tommy K at one end and HP the other, as piggy likes it both ways. For that reason if no other, let's call it The Lindsay. What you are looking at is two slices of mixed grain bread hot from the bread maker machine, streaky dry cured oak smoked bacon fried until just beginning to crisp, spreadable butter substitute and sauces being applied, and the assembled sarnie returned to the frying pan for a final crisping up in the healthy goodness of the rendered bacon fat."

The Bi-bacon Bounty

Alex Outten's sarnie, shown during cooking and fully assembled

There's been plenty of polemic about the correct slice of pork for the ultimate bacon sarnie, but Alex Outten may have reached the perfect compromise, with "homemade sourdough bread (1 slice buttered, other with both sauces (NOT mixed), plus crispy streaky bacon layered with just heated back fillet bacon".

Crikey. This is the only entry demonstrating bi-baconality, but we haven't heard the last of sourdough, as you'll see later. In the meantime, it's time to up the ingredient count...

3 Big data security analytics techniques

Next page: The Sunny Side Down

More from The Register

next story
Fancy joining Reg hack on quid-a-day challenge?
Recruiting now for charity starvation diet
Red-faced LOHAN team 'fesses up in blown SPEARS fuse fiasco
Standing in the corner, big pointy 'D' hats
KILLER SPONGES menacing California coastline
Surfers are safe, crustaceans less so
Opportunity selfie: Martian winds have given the spunky ol' rover a spring cleaning
Power levels up 70 per cent as the rover keeps on truckin'
KILLER ROBOTS, DNA TAMPERING and PEEPING CYBORGS: the future looks bright!
Americans optimistic about technology despite being afraid of EVERYTHING
Discovery time for 200m WONDER MATERIALS shaved from 4 MILLENNIA... to 4 years
Alloy, Alloy: Boffins in speed-classification breakthrough
Elon Musk's LEAKY THRUSTER gas stalls Space Station supply run
Helium seeps from Falcon 9 first stage, delays new legs for NASA robonaut
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.