NZ bloke gets eel stuck up jacksie

A New Zealand hospital refused to speculate last week on just how one patient managed to get an eel stuck up his backside.

According to the New Zealand Herald, the unnamed bloke walked, or perhaps slithered, into Auckland City Hospital's A&E department in need of an urgent jacksie eel extraction.

A swift X-ray and scan confirmed an anguilline presence where the sun don't shine, and docs were able to successfully remove the animal, whose fate is unknown.

A hospital source said: "The eel was about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus and the incident is the talk of the place. Doctors and nurses have come across people with strange objects that have got stuck where they shouldn't be before, but an eel has to be a first."

Matt Rogers, spokesman for Auckland District Health Board, told the NZ Herald: "We can confirm that an adult male presented at Auckland City Hospital this week with an eel inside him."

Rogers proved slippery in regard to specifics, however, and stonewalled: "No further comment will be made out of respect for the patient's right to privacy."

The NZ Herald helpfully explains that the country hosts two main types of eel: the shortfin and the longfin. It deliciously adds that the creatures are "secretive, nocturnal and prefer habitats with plenty of cover", before brilliantly concluding they "hunt by smell rather than sight". ®