Feeds

Ultimate bacon sarnie scrap starts to sizzle

Controversy guaranteed in pinnacle of pork perfection challenge

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Our challenge to readers to provide proof of the ultimate bacon sarnie looks set to provoke even more controversy than the matter of the zenith of sliced pork/bread assemblages has already caused.

In case you've missed the porcine polemic, our Bauernfrühstück versus bacon sarnie post-pub nosh deathmatch had experts up in arms as they claimed definitive wisdom in the matter as to just what constitutes the pinnacle of pork perfection.

Accordingly, we threw down the gauntlet for them to provide photographic proof. Sadly, many of you took this as your cue to launch into yet more verbals, without actually putting your money where your evidently ample and salivating mouths are.

You've still got until Friday to get your entries to me right here, so get your acts together.

In the meantime, here's a submission by someone who did manage to overcome his hangover long enough to grab a snap – Bruce L's "some sort of seed-strewn wholemeal bap" creation:

Bruce L's bacon sarnie, with cuppa

Yes, that's right: this thing they call a "bap" is "seed strewn" and "wholemeal", in direct contravention of the "Thou shalt use only hand-sliced white bread, for it is the Lord's will" bacon sarnie commandment.

Bruce has, however, deployed butter and says that in the matter of the quality of bacon used, it should simply be of high quality and in abundance.

He also notes that any bacon sarnie "must be served with a giant mug of tea". This is "elevated from refreshing but basic hot beverage to nectar of the gods by simple application of: 1) any greasy food, in this case the bacon butty and 2) several pints too many of one's favourite ale (porter for me, Orkney Dark Island if it's on the go), the last of which having been imbibed approximately 10 hours previously".

Provocative stuff. If you think Bruce has committed a heinous sin against the sacred bacon sarnie, you know what you have to do...®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
MARS NEEDS WOMEN, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less
'Some might find this idea offensive' boffin admits
SECRET U.S. 'SPACE WARPLANE' set to return from SPY MISSION
Robot minishuttle X-37B returns after almost 2 years in orbit
LOHAN crash lands on CNN
Overflies Die Welt en route to lively US news vid
Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box
Phytosanitary treatment renders Vulture 2 crate fit for export
You can crunch it all you like, but the answer is NOT always in the data
Hear that, 'data journalists'? Our analytics prof holds forth
No sail: NASA spikes Sunjammer
'Solar sail' demonstrator project binned
America's super-secret X-37B plane returns to Earth after nearly TWO YEARS aloft
674 days in space for US Air Force's mystery orbital vehicle
Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody
Cringeworthy, crude and crass jokes abound in Steven Erikson’s sci-fi debut
Origins of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE fished out of SCOTTISH LAKE
Fossil find proves it first happened 385 million years ago
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.