*sigh*

"...remains in Police custody... up until the point we can make up a way to get him off.. did I just say that out loud?"

My grandfather, a east londoner who "fought" in the Battle of Cable Street (in London, not Ankh) and the war had a saying that was trotted out on a regular basis concerning the police "they're all as bent as a 9 bob note". Glad to see the old standards are being upheld..

This is just going to rattle on like a Rover 75 with low oil pressure until it ends up being abandoned through lack of interest. The cops that cant be transferred will take 'early retirement' at the taxpayers expense - the others will trundle off to the other end of the country and scratch another criminals, sorry did I say criminal, I meant coppers', back in the fullness of time. I very much doubt a single copper ends up locked up, if they do, to quote a certain German Gent, "You can call me Maier...!"

On the other hand, the civilians journalists will have the book, the lectern its sitting on, the gavel and anything in grabbing range thrown at them - shortly followed by starring in their own private personal Diane Fossey documentary with the assistance of HM Prisons, given the actualities of the case the ending of the real film and the HM Prisons parody will probably be the same.

Personally I prefer my previous and much cheaper solution to all this. Find Gemma Dowler. Provide and explain the workings of a 5.56mm chambered Minigun (7.62 is a little heavy). Take all the coppers, journos, sleaze merchants and pond slime involved and put them in a enclosed wooded area (come on, it wouldnt be much of a challenge otherwise) and let the girl work out her frustrations. Everybody wins for very little outlay. The genetics of the human race are improved slightly, the forest (well apart from the trees that get in the way) gets a nice dose of fertilizer, the police are warned that playing silly buggers will not be tolerated. All for the price of a couple thousand rimfire cartridges and the hire and adaption of a Steadicam mount (ala Vasquez). Not to mention thats one more person trained to deal with the zombie apocalypse..

And yes, I am cynical and violent - but then I know what its like to deal with someone close to you being murdered, because its happened to me. Trust me, it is not an experience to be savoured.