If you can't take the Samsung, get out of the kitchen
Household chores to become 'inspirational experiences'
IFA 2012 Samsung’s IFA keynote was true to form, some might say. Although the company had "a different script" with its presentation style, it did seem to have
copied been influenced by the recent UK Olympic opening ceremony, given its theatricalities.
Samsung's head honcho and chief wizard of the day, Boo-Keun Yoon, consumer electronics division president, played Harry Potter as he took the floor. His live image was presented centre stage with accompanying glittering effects superimposed at key moments, such as when he proclaimed, “our goal in just three years, in 2015, is to be the number one producer of all kitchen products”.
OK, we’re hooked now, right? Well, perhaps this would have been more interesting if Samsung hadn’t spilled the beans on its Ativ mobile products the night before. Shall we talk fridges? Maybe, it’ll keep. How about woodland projections of Samsung execs (that were difficult to see) muttering soundbites such as, “Samsung sells three TVs per second and ships 1m mobile devices per day... as a media exec this inspires me.”
You don’t say.
OK, how about the latest on tellies?
As the scenery shifted, thanks to a mime acting stage hand dressed in white and looking like a smurf escaped from an asylum, Michael Zoeller, European Marketing Director TV/AV took the stage. Fancy a slim bezel 75-inch TV? Samsung’s got one coming, but it might as well hang at Tate Modern given what it’ll probably cost. And while Sony announced yesterday that you’d be able to feast your eyes on its 84in 4K resolution KD-84X9005 Bravia TV later this year, Samsung was keen to talk up its ES9500 OLED model, that’s now coming to Europe.
Samsung's ES9500 OLED TV: it's "awesome" apparently
Lending her insights to the proceedings, Samsung TV ad babe Angela Bellotte appeared with Zoeller. When asked what she thought of the ES9500 picture quality, she gave a tech savvy reply:
“Awesome, I’ve never seen anything like this before.”
A tough act to follow, but her work wasn’t done yet.
We were treated to a rather rubbish demo of dual display TV – the faster response times of OLED make it ideal for this purpose and the ES9500 features 3D specs with integrated earphones. I’m not sure what they saw, but the headgear gets assigned to the channel you want to view and two stations can be watched simultaneously from the set. Perfect for couples filing for divorce but who can’t afford to live apart.
Indulging in some gesture politics Bellotte went through the motions of playing Angry Birds – yup, it’s going to migrate and become a Samsung TV app too and naturally, it responds to movement control. Samsung claims 45m app downloads for its TVs and has a new footie app in the works too, that will access 40 leagues from around the world.
But what about the fridges?
OK, if you must, although all assembled in the baking conference hall would have preferred a real live demo of Samsung’s air conditioners – something to blow us away with next year guys? For now, though, Allshare is where it’s at – this is Samsung’s networking ecosystem that features DLNA and a few other tricks.
Tablets and mobiles? Been there done that. The connected home seems to be where we should be looking for innovation and by delivering a private network of consumer electronics and domestic appliances, Samsung is, as Yoon put it, “developing products that understand you and your home... your cooking and cleaning habits.”
“Household chores turn into inspirational experiences...”
Maybe he should get out more. Still, the idea is that your white goods will have the capacity to coach you in cooking and cleaning and other domestic tasks so that there will be an app for all those things learned at mother’s knee.
Still, for those buying into a world where your phone turns up the heat in the kitchen, the good news is that now you’ll never have to worry if you’ve left the gas on at home. ®
Re: Make that -10
"She was near flat-chested."
You have bigger tits, presumably?
Got me one of them...
Big samsung fridge freezers.. now how do I upgrade that firmware!
Samsung kitchen appliances
All very fine, and no doubt very useful.
Have they got iPad docks on the fridges? What? No? Then you can't possibly want that.
Lets face it, Samsung (and everyone else, really) has had it. Every thing nowadays has to have at least Apple compatibility, if its not Apple itself.
The whole technology sector will become an accessory supplier for Apple. You buy an iPad, and then the accessories follow: iPad compatible washing machine complete with app that sets the washing cycle according to a picture of your dirty washing (which you snapped with your iPhone). Apple compatible oven: "Siri, check my weight (on the iPhone compatible bathroom scales) and make up a menu for me tonight and set the oven accordingly."
Docking station on the kettle that downloads how many skinny soy-milk lattes I've had today (gathered from the pay-by-iPhone app) and refuses to boil water for another cuppa if I don't shoot a video of using decaf, because the doctor's iTunes advisory told me to cut the caffeine.
This paints a bleak* picture, but so did Orwell's "1984", and we have got more cctv around now than even Big Brother could watch.
I've heard people referring to a 3.5mm headphone jack as an "iPod plug". . . phew, come on.
Even though I don't think it will happen, there is a certain dynamic towards it; the more devices go compatible, the more Apple stuff will be bought, and the more pressure will be on other manufacturers to join. I just hope it's not going to be as bad as my dystopian nightmare.
At the moment I feel a bit like my mum and dad must have felt during the Cuban missile crisis in 1962. The end of the world as we know it might be near, and it can go either way - - -
*Or, for Apple fans, an wonderfully carefree iLife.
Will it make me a goddamn sammich?
Strange, considering the most interresting innovation in the kitchen was done by a Chinese company which actually made a solid state microwave. A microwave oven without a magnetron or other vacuum tube.