Feeds

Reg hack attempts gutsiest expenses claim EVER

Napkin hieroglyphs leave top beancounter ROFLing in tears

Eight steps to building an HP BladeSystem

We're certain that plenty of Reg readers have at one time or another been given short shrift by the company finance department for presenting a dodgy receipt as part of an expenses claim.

Last weekend, though, we obtained a bit of paper which we reckon would be hard to beat if you're determined to be shown the beancounters' door.

Here's the story: Sunday afternoon, eight mates, local bar, robust quaffing of ale, bit of nosh. Nothing exceptional there, until after four or so hours we asked the owner how much we owed.

The quoted figure was certainly designed to deliver a solid kick to the wallet, so cue howls of protest and demands for proof.

"No problem," countered the owner, adding: "I've got it all written down properly." He then rushed off to get this illuminating piece of paper:

The bar bill in question - a scrap of paper covered in scribbled numbers

I should point out that the critical part of the document is at the bottom left, under "terraza" ("terrace", the best spot for unfurling sheets to the wind on hot summer days).

I have no idea who Pep, Obe, etc, are, or for that matter who on God's Green Earth Antonio Colorino might be, and I think it's fair to say this is not any sane person's definition of "written down properly".

Here's the reverse of the sheet, showing the total. Note the extra €3.30, representing the three additional beers we necked while arguing the toss:

The reverse of the scrap of paper showing the total

Of course, we eventually coughed the full amount, although I did explain to the owner I very much doubted the El Reg finance Soviet would concur with the Spanish definition of "properly", or indeed "written" in this case.

He insisted he'd had some builders in the week before who'd been more than happy with a similar lunch bill to lay before the boss for reimbursement.

Well, there's only one way to settle the matter, and I dispatched the miserable scrap of paper to Reg expenses Tsarina Caroline for her opinion.

She said: "Haha... God loves a trier but no one would get away with that these days!!"

So there you have it. The golden days of expenses receipts scribbled on the back of beer mats are indeed over, in Blighty at least. ®

Reducing security risks from open source software

More from The Register

next story
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery
Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Apple: No, China. iPhone is NOT public enemy number 1
Beijing fears it could beam secrets back to America
Canuck reader threatens suicide over exact dimensions of SPAAAACE!
How many As? Reg hack's writing cops a shoeing
prev story

Whitepapers

Reducing security risks from open source software
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.