Feeds

Reg hack attempts gutsiest expenses claim EVER

Napkin hieroglyphs leave top beancounter ROFLing in tears

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

We're certain that plenty of Reg readers have at one time or another been given short shrift by the company finance department for presenting a dodgy receipt as part of an expenses claim.

Last weekend, though, we obtained a bit of paper which we reckon would be hard to beat if you're determined to be shown the beancounters' door.

Here's the story: Sunday afternoon, eight mates, local bar, robust quaffing of ale, bit of nosh. Nothing exceptional there, until after four or so hours we asked the owner how much we owed.

The quoted figure was certainly designed to deliver a solid kick to the wallet, so cue howls of protest and demands for proof.

"No problem," countered the owner, adding: "I've got it all written down properly." He then rushed off to get this illuminating piece of paper:

The bar bill in question - a scrap of paper covered in scribbled numbers

I should point out that the critical part of the document is at the bottom left, under "terraza" ("terrace", the best spot for unfurling sheets to the wind on hot summer days).

I have no idea who Pep, Obe, etc, are, or for that matter who on God's Green Earth Antonio Colorino might be, and I think it's fair to say this is not any sane person's definition of "written down properly".

Here's the reverse of the sheet, showing the total. Note the extra €3.30, representing the three additional beers we necked while arguing the toss:

The reverse of the scrap of paper showing the total

Of course, we eventually coughed the full amount, although I did explain to the owner I very much doubted the El Reg finance Soviet would concur with the Spanish definition of "properly", or indeed "written" in this case.

He insisted he'd had some builders in the week before who'd been more than happy with a similar lunch bill to lay before the boss for reimbursement.

Well, there's only one way to settle the matter, and I dispatched the miserable scrap of paper to Reg expenses Tsarina Caroline for her opinion.

She said: "Haha... God loves a trier but no one would get away with that these days!!"

So there you have it. The golden days of expenses receipts scribbled on the back of beer mats are indeed over, in Blighty at least. ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.