Feeds

Reg hack attempts gutsiest expenses claim EVER

Napkin hieroglyphs leave top beancounter ROFLing in tears

Top three mobile application threats

We're certain that plenty of Reg readers have at one time or another been given short shrift by the company finance department for presenting a dodgy receipt as part of an expenses claim.

Last weekend, though, we obtained a bit of paper which we reckon would be hard to beat if you're determined to be shown the beancounters' door.

Here's the story: Sunday afternoon, eight mates, local bar, robust quaffing of ale, bit of nosh. Nothing exceptional there, until after four or so hours we asked the owner how much we owed.

The quoted figure was certainly designed to deliver a solid kick to the wallet, so cue howls of protest and demands for proof.

"No problem," countered the owner, adding: "I've got it all written down properly." He then rushed off to get this illuminating piece of paper:

The bar bill in question - a scrap of paper covered in scribbled numbers

I should point out that the critical part of the document is at the bottom left, under "terraza" ("terrace", the best spot for unfurling sheets to the wind on hot summer days).

I have no idea who Pep, Obe, etc, are, or for that matter who on God's Green Earth Antonio Colorino might be, and I think it's fair to say this is not any sane person's definition of "written down properly".

Here's the reverse of the sheet, showing the total. Note the extra €3.30, representing the three additional beers we necked while arguing the toss:

The reverse of the scrap of paper showing the total

Of course, we eventually coughed the full amount, although I did explain to the owner I very much doubted the El Reg finance Soviet would concur with the Spanish definition of "properly", or indeed "written" in this case.

He insisted he'd had some builders in the week before who'd been more than happy with a similar lunch bill to lay before the boss for reimbursement.

Well, there's only one way to settle the matter, and I dispatched the miserable scrap of paper to Reg expenses Tsarina Caroline for her opinion.

She said: "Haha... God loves a trier but no one would get away with that these days!!"

So there you have it. The golden days of expenses receipts scribbled on the back of beer mats are indeed over, in Blighty at least. ®

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.