Feeds

Rogue kebab provokes Carlisle post-pub car deathmatch

Booze + dropped doner = prang

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

A Carlisle building labourer has been relieved of his driving licence for 27 months after a drunken kebab retrieval manoeuvre ended with him piling his car into a stationary vehicle.

Colin Watson, 27, left the house he shares with his parents on 18 May, following a row with mum and dad. According to the Telegraph, he drove to the Border Rambler boozer in the city centre and quaffed six pints, before offering a chum a lift home.

As is the local custom, the pair first went in search of post-pub nourishment, driving to a kebab outlet outside Carlisle. At this point Watson "realised he was too drunk to drive", but instead of ditching the car, he decided to head back into the city to grab a cab.

Defending Watson in Carlisle Magistrates Court, Geoff Clapp explained: "He realised he had had too much to drink to drive home and was turning back when, unfortunately, the kebab, which was on the dashboard, fell on the floor."

As Watson bent down to rescue the nosh, he booked himself a date before the beak.

Paul Gibson, prosecuting, told the court: "A woman was in her car, which was stationary, talking to a friend she had dropped off. All of a sudden she heard a loud bang and the car jolted forward."

Both women walked from the kebab-prompted prang without injury, although the car on the receiving end suffered a dented rear wheel arch and flat tyre. The fate of the kebab is unknown.

District Judge Gerald Chalk disqualified Watson for 27 months and slapped him with a 12-month community order, obliging him to carry out 100 hours of unpaid work. ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Go beyond APM with real-time IT operations analytics
How IT operations teams can harness the wealth of wire data already flowing through their environment for real-time operational intelligence.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?