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US dope farmer in Walmart rattlesnake chomp shock

Mulch shopping trip ends in 'six bags of anti-venom'

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A Walmart customer required the urgent administration of "six bags of anti-venom" after a rattlesnake sank its fangs into him at a Washington state tentacle of the retail monolith.

Mica Craig, 47, was in the store in Clarkston, innocently shopping for some mulch with which to nourish his cannabis plants, which he's "licensed to grow for medical reasons", Reuters stresses.

Reaching down to brush what appeared to be a stick off the mulch, Craig got on the wrong end of the rattler, as he recounted to the news agency: "I reached down to grab the stick to move it out of the way, and the snake stretched out, turned around and got its fangs in my right hand. I slung it off and I did a tap dance on it until it was dead."

Another shopper, Maria Geffre, whisked the victim to hospital. Sawbones at first thought Craig had suffered a venomless "dry bite", but moved in with the aforemetioned anti-venom when the poor bloke's hand ballooned to "the size of a melon".

Although it's not certain whether the snake arrived at the store with the mulch, or slithered in from surrounding fields, Walmart apologised and said it'd look into the attack, which happened last Friday.

Spokeswoman Kayla Whaling assured: "At this point, it appears to be an isolated incident. We are working with a pest management team, which is conducting a sweep of the property to ensure there is no additional rattlesnake activity." ®

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I have had it with these goddamn snakes in this goddamn Walmart!

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Because everyone would be rooting for the snakes?

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(Written by Reg staff)

News of the World 2

I note you posted your first comment on El Reg in May 2011. Trust me, the downward spiral of quality and inexorable rise in sensationalism started way before that, if other, long-serving commentards are to be believed.

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