Feeds

RIM’s Wake Up is a mini-manifesto

'Do different', outside the middle, or something

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

RIM’s controversial attempt to Wake Up Australia to the wonders of its products has been revealed.

The old Wake Up Australia site now refers viewers to the new wakeupbebold.com.au site, where a Rorschach blot (which looks a bit like the very NSFW Stannis-as-killer-ghost-thing from Game of Thrones) coagulates into a scrolling screed.

The manifesto starts with:

“Wake up. It’s time to mean business.

We think that means RIM make business phones, not those bird-flinging fripperies that have more market share. Next comes this slab of text:

“Now before you go looking for your suit and briefcase, we’re not talking about that kind of business. Business is no longer just a suit-wearing, cubicle-sitting, card-carrying kind of pursuit.

We think that means “Attention hip young entrepreneur with a MacBook air, thick-rimmed spectacles and a Crumpler – we’re the phone for you!” You may still need a card, though, 'cos Bump doesn't run on BlackBerry.

The manifesto continues:

“These days being ‘in business’ means you’re the kind of person who takes action and makes things happen. You don’t just think different… you do different. It’s a simple choice: You’re either here to leave your mark and eat opportunity for breakfast OR You’re satisfied to just float through life like a cork in a stream. Now, we know some people will choose to float on by and that’s fine.

Our reading of that passage is a cry of frustration at the fact that Apple has five trillion customers and more cash than all of Europe, but still manages to have some kind of counter-cultural cool that makes iPhone owners feel special even when they join the herd. RIM wants some of that cool and tries to get it with this continuation:

“Being in business is not for everyone, but unfortunately… there is no middle ground. You’re either in business or you’re not.

Actually, in Australia, there’s a massive middle ground because the majority of small businesses, as defined here, don’t employ anyone. Hundreds of thousands of freelancers and contractors are counted as a business and have many of the same tax obligations as businesses but aren’t really businesses in the sense that they don't aspire to create lasting value. But we’re holding you back from the conclusion, to whit:

“For those of us with our eyes wide open, we need to realise there’s only one device for people who mean business… the brand that’s been in business from the very beginning. Wake Up. Be Bold. BlackBerry.”

Does this mean that we should all remember the time when BlackBerries were better than other phones. Ignore the fact that even a nasty $99 prepaid Android handset does email pretty well these days. And the fact that there was a time when the ZX81 was better than other computers.

Mumbrella reports that a senior marketing bod has declared this whole campaign about 15 years off the pace. Given the ads don't appear to have a call to action so you can actually buy a BlackBerry, that opinion seems sensible. BlackBerry's Australian Australia and New Zealand Facebook page hasn't been updated since Saturday.

But who are we to judge? We wrote this. You're reading it. Something's working. ®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Scrapping the Human Rights Act: What about privacy and freedom of expression?
Justice minister's attack to destroy ability to challenge state
WHY did Sunday Mirror stoop to slurping selfies for smut sting?
Tabloid splashes, MP resigns - but there's a BIG copyright issue here
Google hits back at 'Dear Rupert' over search dominance claims
Choc Factory sniffs: 'We're not pirate-lovers - also, you publish The Sun'
EU to accuse Ireland of giving Apple an overly peachy tax deal – report
Probe expected to say single-digit rate was unlawful
Inequality increasing? BOLLOCKS! You heard me: 'Screw the 1%'
There's morality and then there's economics ...
Hey Brit taxpayers. You just spent £4m on Central London ‘innovation playground’
Catapult me a Mojito, I feel an Digital Innovation coming on
While you queued for an iPhone 6, Apple's Cook sold shares worth $35m
Right before the stock took a 3.8% dive amid bent and broken mobe drama
EU probes Google’s Android omerta again: Talk now, or else
Spill those Android secrets, or we’ll fine you
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.