The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Feeds

Molesworth and the New Latin

'Why must we lurn about computa sciense sur? Why?'

Email delivery: 4 steps to get more email to the inbox

Stob 'In his speech [...] the Education Secretary Michael Gove appeared to accept in its entirety the argument that ICT had become little more than training in office skills and something far more rigorous was required [...] While Alex Hope's slogan "coding is the new Latin" did not appeal to some, it must have appealed to the classicist in Michael Gove' - Rory Cellan-Jones, BBC website

chiz chiz chiz

In the olden days eg last term we hav ITC 4 times a week chiz

ITC master comes into clars: gud morning boys now toda we shall do offis agen.

Evrybody: YORN!

BEAK: silens wile I start my p.c.

He spends 5 mins trying to get comp to start only he carnt cos sum unknoen persun (hem-hem) has chainjed the pazzword.

Everyun start to sniggr, xcept fotherington-thomas who doing xtra swotting and using blootueth erepeece to lissen to melvun bragg on the intanett.

Fotherington-thomas: o the joi of pur knolledg! how luvly it is to lurn!

He is an utta gurly weed and i despize him.

Grabber (put up his hand): Sir its all rite sir we can use my comp.

This grabber is hed of skool winna of mrs joyful prize for stile sheet formating and has his own lap top with 33in screen and case made out of solid urirdium and he can play portle 2 on it.

Grabber open enormus spred sheat and pointed where it sa

£99999999999999999.99

and sed thats what my pa made last year and pointed where it sa

0.00000001p

and sed thats what yor pa made molesworth haha yah boo suks.

BEAK: Thankyu grabber that will do now boys tern to frimley on pow point chap 25 and attemt the xercise.

Chiz chiz we are all DOMED.

Molesworth gide to riting for pow point

Furst, gather yor sorse material e.g. copy it of off WIKI like everyun does hem-hem

All our progress is an unfolding, like a vegetable bud. You have first an instinct, then an opinion, then a knowledge as the plant has root, bud, and fruit. Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mov full stops to front of sentenses, and enlarg to make bulletes. Remov unecesary words. Formerlize lists.

  • Progress is an unfolding, like vegetable bud
  • You have
    1. instinct
    2. opinion
    3. knowledge
    as plant hav
    1. root
    2. bud
    3. fruit.
  • Trust instinct to end though you can render no reason
  • after Ralph Waldo Emerson

Now rejuice content to it's essance & SMARTUN IT UP. Dont hesitat to use magc of CULOR and GRAPHICS to mak yor messag CLARE

5 ways to reduce advertising network latency

Next page: COMP SCI for all

Whitepapers

5 ways to reduce advertising network latency
Implementing the tactics laid out in this whitepaper can help reduce your overall advertising network latency.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Email delivery: 4 steps to get more email to the inbox
This whitepaper lists some steps and information that will give you the best opportunity to achieve an amazing sender reputation.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
5 ways to prepare your advertising infrastructure for disaster
Being prepared allows your brand to greatly improve your advertising infrastructure performance and reliability that, in the end, will boost confidence in your brand.

More from The Register

next story
Windows 8 fans out-enthuse Apple fanbois
Redmond allows 81 Win 8 devices to use one user ID, solving side-loading shemozzle
'200 million' fanbois using iOS 7 just a week after release - study
Plus: Most US iDevice users are drinking Cupertino's latest Koolaid
No luck at all for BlackBerry as Messenger apps launch stalls
Leaked Android build 'causes issues,' is withdrawn
App Store ratings mess: What do we like? Sigh, we dunno – fanbois
How do I know what to download if I don't know what everyone else is doing?
OUCH: Google preps ad goo injection for Android mobile Gmail app
Don't worry, fandroids, wallet-plumping serum won't hurt a bit
Launchpads, catapults... what a load of - WAIT, there's £15m for grabs?
Quango sprinkles cash on games, animation and trendy meeja types
Apple iOS 7 makes some users literally SICK. As in puking, not upset
'Eye candy really is as bad as classical candy is for the teeth,' writes one
Google reveals its Hummingbird: Fly, my little algorithm - FLY!
Update brings Googleplex one step closer to sentience
Oracle hides ExaLogic price cut
Old price lists prove price halved, so why has Big Red deleted the post announcing it?
prev story