Feeds

Ten... digital adult toys

The tingle factor

3 Big data security analytics techniques

NSFW

Reg Hardware Sex Week

Wireless vibrators activated by your mobile phone or MP3 player – who would have thought it? Growing up during a time when women still had pubic hair and leading a fantasy romance with Tony Hadley took up most of my time, if I was lucky Valentine's day involved a card and a flower picked out of someone garden. OK, OK this happened once...

These days, adult toy makers obviously think it is well past time to forget flowers and chocolates and give your girl something hi-tech that will keep her happy all year round. One thing is clear though, these pioneers of pleasure certainly don't have the budgets of Sony or Samsung but they are, nonetheless, determined not to be left behind in the tech wars of the 21st century. Innovations aside, you won't have to look too far to find variations on some of the well-worn designs listed here.

Thanks to Lovehoney for the loan of the review samples. Er, do you want them back now..?

Bedroom Kandi Happiness and Joy music-activated vibrator

RH Numbers

Kandi Burruss co-wrote No Scrubs for TLC, perhaps a fitting song for a girl who'd rather be home alone than hang out with a loser. As you'd expect from a R'n'B diva, the bedroom Kandi is pure bling. It even has its own iOS app – FFS! A nod to the traditional rabbit it is much more slimline and expensive looking and feels silky smooth.

The Kandi Happiness and Joy has seven speeds and patterns but its selling point – and it needs one for £120 – is a special mode that vibrates in time to music on your iPod. I just press the music note button on the wireless unit and the internal motors are activated to pulse in time with my music. In my experience it's quite bizarre if you happen to be listening to Black Flag – my bad. This is obviously designed for girls with more mainstream musical tastes.

Bedroom Kandi music-activated vibrator

Satisfaction Rating 80%
Price £120
More info Bedroom Kandi and Lovehoney

Dream Egg with 10 function remote control

RH Numbers

Be warned, this is too loud for the pub. The Dream Egg is good fun for a tickle around the house – having a remote control with a ten metre range I got quite a shock in the shower. Not literally though, because this is totally waterproof. Unfortunately the dream egg is cheap looking more Kinder egg than Fabergé. That said, its three speeds and seven patterns have impressive power for something so small.

Dream Egg vibrator

Satisfaction Rating 60%
Price £27
More info Lovehoney

SANS - Survey on application security programs

More from The Register

next story
Samsung Galaxy S5 fingerprint scanner hacked in just 4 DAYS
Sammy's newbie cooked slower than iPhone, also costs more to build
US mobile firms cave on kill switch, agree to install anti-theft code
Slow and kludgy rollout will protect corporate profits
Leaked pics show EMBIGGENED iPhone 6 screen
Fat-fingered fanbois rejoice over Chinternet snaps
Microsoft lobs pre-release Windows Phone 8.1 at devs who dare
App makers can load it before anyone else, but if they do they're stuck with it
Oh no, Joe: WinPhone users already griping over 8.1 mega-update
Hang on. Which bit of Developer Preview don't you understand?
Report: Apple seeking to raise iPhone 6 price by a HUNDRED BUCKS
'Well, that 5c experiment didn't go so well – let's try the other direction'
Feast your PUNY eyes on highest resolution phone display EVER
Too much pixel dust for your strained eyeballs to handle
Rounded corners? Pah! Amazon's '3D phone has eye-tracking tech'
Now THAT'S what we call a proper new feature
Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft – A jolly little war for lunchtime
Free-to-play WoW turn-based game when you have 20 minutes to kill
Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace
Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon flying broadband-bot
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.