Feeds

Ten... digital adult toys

The tingle factor

Business security measures using SSL

NSFW

Reg Hardware Sex Week

Wireless vibrators activated by your mobile phone or MP3 player – who would have thought it? Growing up during a time when women still had pubic hair and leading a fantasy romance with Tony Hadley took up most of my time, if I was lucky Valentine's day involved a card and a flower picked out of someone garden. OK, OK this happened once...

These days, adult toy makers obviously think it is well past time to forget flowers and chocolates and give your girl something hi-tech that will keep her happy all year round. One thing is clear though, these pioneers of pleasure certainly don't have the budgets of Sony or Samsung but they are, nonetheless, determined not to be left behind in the tech wars of the 21st century. Innovations aside, you won't have to look too far to find variations on some of the well-worn designs listed here.

Thanks to Lovehoney for the loan of the review samples. Er, do you want them back now..?

Bedroom Kandi Happiness and Joy music-activated vibrator

RH Numbers

Kandi Burruss co-wrote No Scrubs for TLC, perhaps a fitting song for a girl who'd rather be home alone than hang out with a loser. As you'd expect from a R'n'B diva, the bedroom Kandi is pure bling. It even has its own iOS app – FFS! A nod to the traditional rabbit it is much more slimline and expensive looking and feels silky smooth.

The Kandi Happiness and Joy has seven speeds and patterns but its selling point – and it needs one for £120 – is a special mode that vibrates in time to music on your iPod. I just press the music note button on the wireless unit and the internal motors are activated to pulse in time with my music. In my experience it's quite bizarre if you happen to be listening to Black Flag – my bad. This is obviously designed for girls with more mainstream musical tastes.

Bedroom Kandi music-activated vibrator

Satisfaction Rating 80%
Price £120
More info Bedroom Kandi and Lovehoney

Dream Egg with 10 function remote control

RH Numbers

Be warned, this is too loud for the pub. The Dream Egg is good fun for a tickle around the house – having a remote control with a ten metre range I got quite a shock in the shower. Not literally though, because this is totally waterproof. Unfortunately the dream egg is cheap looking more Kinder egg than Fabergé. That said, its three speeds and seven patterns have impressive power for something so small.

Dream Egg vibrator

Satisfaction Rating 60%
Price £27
More info Lovehoney

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Oi, Tim Cook. Apple Watch. I DARE you to tell me, IN PERSON, that it's secure
State attorney demands Apple CEO bows the knee to him
4K-ing excellent TV is on its way ... in its own sweet time, natch
For decades Hollywood actually binned its 4K files. Doh!
Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water
Founder blames 'ruthless network partners' for implosion
DARPA-backed jetpack prototype built to make soldiers run faster
4 Minute Mile project hatched to speed up tired troops
Hey, Mac fanbois. HGST wants you drooling over its HUGE desktop RACK
What vast digital media repository could possibly need 64 TERABYTES?
Apple Pay is a tidy payday for Apple with 0.15% cut, sources say
Cupertino slurps 15 cents from every $100 purchase
Apple's ONE LESS THING: the iPod Classic disappears
RIP 2001 – 2014. MP3 player beloved of millions. Killed by cloud
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Protecting users from Firesheep and other Sidejacking attacks with SSL
Discussing the vulnerabilities inherent in Wi-Fi networks, and how using TLS/SSL for your entire site will assure security.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.