Car crash model cushioned by 38KKK Bulgarian airbags
'I think my breasts saved my life'
A top-heavy model who wrapped her car round a tree is convinced her preposterous 38KKK Bulgarian airbags saved her from an appointment with the great cosmetic surgery clinic in the sky.
Sheyla Hershey, 32, pranged her Ford Mustang near Houston, Texas, following a Super Bowl bash. She explained: "I think my breasts saved my life. The accident was bad and my boobs are sore, but they protected the rest of me."
Hershey and her substantial assets appeared in court last Monday, where she denied a drink-driving charge, insisting that she was actually under the influence of drugs for bipolar disorder, depression, headaches and, unsurprisingly, backaches.
The Brazilian apparently holds the Guinness World Record* for the biggest pair of inflated mams, awarded when her twin peaks peaked at 38MMM. However, a life-threatening infection resulting from her 30th jub job obliged docs to whip out the implants back in 2010, and Hershey has been battling her way back to her former chesticular glory ever since.
Despite the misgivings of doctors and hubby Derek, she's gradually pumping up her funbags with saline. According to the Daily Mail, she said: "I increased slowly over a two-month period and now my breasts are back at 4,300cc of liquid and are 38KKK."
For those of you who are wondering just what it would be like to be the steering wheel of Hershey's Ford Mustang, here's the view from the dashboard:
* A quick search of the Guinness World Records website proved fruitless, but we did find these fine examples of non-enhanced crash protectors.
Oh Lester, Lester, what a missed opportunity
"insisting that she was actually under the influence of drugs for bipolar disorder, depression, headaches and, unsurprisingly, backaches."
So you completely failed to spot that her defence was that she was off her tits... More work needed on the subheadings, old chap.
She looks like a transgendered version of Michael Jackson. Why do people do these things to themselves?
Wow. Someone needs to calm down, I think --
-- and I don't think it's me.
Nor do I think it's particularly reasonable to assume there's no difference at all between, say, on the one hand, someone who's carrying around fifty or a hundred pounds more mass than a perky twenty-two-year-old medical student might suggest was a good idea -- and then, on the other hand, someone who's deliberately, and against medical advice, inflated her breasts to over four liters' volume in order to earn money off rich people's sad fantasies.
No judgment, or so a thicko like you would seem to need pointed out -- we've all got to earn a paycheck somehow, and from what I've heard of Brazil, if you've got an option like this one then it makes sense to take it -- but that's not the same thing as someone who "doesn't fit into some mythical ideal", and in neither case am I arguing that such a person should be "doomed to a life of lonliness [sic] and self-pleasure" for any reason at all; I don't know, nor particularly do I care, what's got you thinking that is what I am doing, but if accuracy were something of concern to you then I expect you'd like to know you are completely off the mark -- all I'm saying is, I don't get what it is with men for whom Little Happy is most effectively titillated by tits so big and so blatantly artificial that they no longer even look like something you'd expect to find on a human body.
If that's the same thing as hating on anybody who isn't a perfect 36-24-36, or whatever the fuck it is you've got the idea in whatever passes for your mind that I'm doing, then I guess you may as well just tie me to a post and set me alight right now. But, then, it isn't, is it? Of course it isn't. It isn't even close -- but then, hey, if it were a mistake that was *easy* to make, we wouldn't need you to do it, would we?