Feeds

JEDI alliance: Jellyfish overlords won't rule Earth after all

Blancmange invader threat turns out to be, erm, trifling

Intelligent flash storage arrays

The worldwide jellyfish-threat trouser state was officially downgraded from "damp" to "wear again if necessary" yesterday as top international boffins - operating under the title "JEDI" - announced that in fact there is little evidence to suggest that planet Earth will soon be ruled by wobbling gelatinous blobominations.

Despite the (cough) well-publicised menace posed by such things as the fridge-sized, quarter-ton monster jellies which routinely choke the Sea of Japan, and the murderous peanut blob assassins of Australia - not to mention the immortal Dr Who shapeshifting clone turritopsians - it seems that in fact there's not great need to panic.

International boffins, allied under the banner Jellyfish Database Initiative (JEDI) have collated all available data on jelly populations worldwide. They say that in fact, regardless of the various wobbling menaces highlighted in the more irresponsible sections of the media, there's nothing to show an overall increase in jellyfish population.

"Clearly, there are areas where jellyfish have increased, the situation with the Giant Jellyfish in Japan is a classic example," says Dr Cathy Lucas of Blighty's National Oceanography Centre, one of the JEDI alliance. "But there are also areas where jellyfish have decreased, or fluctuate over the decadal periods."

Lucas and her JEDI colleagues have just published a paper in the journal Bioscience setting out the current jellyfish state of play - namely that there's no proof of anything out of the ordinary going on overall.

“People say, 'Oh my God, the world is going to hell'," Lucas' fellow JEDI Monty Graham tells boffinry mag Nature, "but jellies form blooms. That's what they're supposed to do.” ®

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
MARS NEEDS WOMEN, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less
'Some might find this idea offensive' boffin admits
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
LOHAN crash lands on CNN
Overflies Die Welt en route to lively US news vid
Comet Siding Spring revealed as flying molehill
Hiding from this space pimple isn't going to do humanity's reputation any good
Experts brand LOHAN's squeaky-clean box
Phytosanitary treatment renders Vulture 2 crate fit for export
No sail: NASA spikes Sunjammer
'Solar sail' demonstrator project binned
Carry On Cosmonaut: Willful Child is a poor taste Star Trek parody
Cringeworthy, crude and crass jokes abound in Steven Erikson’s sci-fi debut
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.