Feeds

Stab victim protected by Bulgarian airbag

Jub job saved Florida woman's life, doc reckons

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

A Florida woman who was set upon by her ex-fiance's knife-wielding new squeeze survived the attack thanks to one of her Bulgarian airbags, according to this report.

The unnamed victim was assaulted outside her former boyf's apartment in Melbourne, Brevard County, and allegedly stabbed "repeatedly in the left side of her chest" by her ex's new squeeze.

The shaken 41-year-old recounted: "It happened so fast. I'm like, 'Put down the knife.' I look down, and I was covered in blood."

She was also covered in the saline from one of the implants she'd received three months ago, courtesy of jub job specialiast Dr Frank Filiberto, of the magnificently-titled Artful Awakenings surgery.

Filiberto reckons the $6k enhancement surgery probably saved his customer's life. He said of the saline mambooster: "When you stab it, it gives a little. It probably gave and couldn't get through it, then it went through it and couldn't go through the back wall. She would have had a collapsed lung or [the knife would have] hit her heart."

Evidently eyeing potential business from other women keen to sport knife-proof chesticles, the sawbones concluded: "I encourage everyone to get them for safety reasons." ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Chris Hunter for the tip-off.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.