Feeds

iPad Fleshlight lets fanbois express their love

Coming soon: Fondleslab f**king

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

NSFW - UPDATED A conceptual design for a new iPad case would let Apple fanbois get very personal indeed with their favorite fondleslab.

The Fleshlight iPad holder comes to us from the fertile, febrile mind of prolific designer, author, recipe-creator, and opinionater Tv Slicèdbread Miller. The device – currently only in conceptual-design form – clips onto the outside of the iPad (lengthwise of course), and allows the user to pleasure himself while looking at the screen.

Presumably porn makers would leap at the chance to come up with shooting styles that enhance the illusion that the user is making love to an actual human, rather than a slab of electronics enhanced with a ribbed polymer pocket.

Fleshlight iPad case

Do to Apple what Apple does to you (source: TVMiller)

The caressing core of the concept, the Fleshlight itself, was invented by a former police SWAT team member, patent-protected as a “device useful for collection of sperm from human males”, and is one of the best-selling sex toys in the world. Designed to look like an ordinary flashlight, the device has a molded polymer interior which, when heated and lubricated, apparently feels somewhat like a vagina – or so we're told.

When it comes to geek sex toys, Apple fans are well ahead of the field, according to research by UK smut accessorymonger LoveHoney. It found that iPad owners spent the most on their assistive technologies, followed by iPhone and Mac owners, with Windows geeks bringing up the rear.

While the Fleshlight manufacturers already sell mountings for their product, they have yet to move into the fondleslab field. If the design does make it to production then you’ll have the perfect gift for the geek who has everything – except a girlfriend. ®

Update

Fleshlight has confirmed to El Reg that a development project to build a iPad interface with the device is well in hand. We'll keep a firm grip on the situation and let you know as plans firm up.

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Hi-torque tank engines: EXTREME car hacking with The Register
Bentley found in a hedge gets WW2 lump insertion
What's MISSING on Amazon Fire Phone... and why it WON'T set the world alight
You fought hard and you saved and earned. But all of it's going to burn...
Trousers down for six of the best affordable Androids
Stylish Googlephones for not-so-deep pockets
Download alert: Nearly ALL top 100 Android, iOS paid apps hacked
Attack of the Clones? Yeah, but much, much scarier – report
Fujitsu CTO: We'll be 3D-printing tech execs in 15 years
Fleshy techie disses network neutrality, helmet-less motorcyclists
prev story

Whitepapers

Seattle children’s accelerates Citrix login times by 500% with cross-tier insight
Seattle Children’s is a leading research hospital with a large and growing Citrix XenDesktop deployment. See how they used ExtraHop to accelerate launch times.
5 critical considerations for enterprise cloud backup
Key considerations when evaluating cloud backup solutions to ensure adequate protection security and availability of enterprise data.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.