Feeds

iPad Fleshlight lets fanbois express their love

Coming soon: Fondleslab f**king

Boost IT visibility and business value

NSFW - UPDATED A conceptual design for a new iPad case would let Apple fanbois get very personal indeed with their favorite fondleslab.

The Fleshlight iPad holder comes to us from the fertile, febrile mind of prolific designer, author, recipe-creator, and opinionater Tv Slicèdbread Miller. The device – currently only in conceptual-design form – clips onto the outside of the iPad (lengthwise of course), and allows the user to pleasure himself while looking at the screen.

Presumably porn makers would leap at the chance to come up with shooting styles that enhance the illusion that the user is making love to an actual human, rather than a slab of electronics enhanced with a ribbed polymer pocket.

Fleshlight iPad case

Do to Apple what Apple does to you (source: TVMiller)

The caressing core of the concept, the Fleshlight itself, was invented by a former police SWAT team member, patent-protected as a “device useful for collection of sperm from human males”, and is one of the best-selling sex toys in the world. Designed to look like an ordinary flashlight, the device has a molded polymer interior which, when heated and lubricated, apparently feels somewhat like a vagina – or so we're told.

When it comes to geek sex toys, Apple fans are well ahead of the field, according to research by UK smut accessorymonger LoveHoney. It found that iPad owners spent the most on their assistive technologies, followed by iPhone and Mac owners, with Windows geeks bringing up the rear.

While the Fleshlight manufacturers already sell mountings for their product, they have yet to move into the fondleslab field. If the design does make it to production then you’ll have the perfect gift for the geek who has everything – except a girlfriend. ®

Update

Fleshlight has confirmed to El Reg that a development project to build a iPad interface with the device is well in hand. We'll keep a firm grip on the situation and let you know as plans firm up.

The essential guide to IT transformation

More from The Register

next story
Apple takes blade to 13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display
Shaves price, not screen on mid-2014 model
iPhone 6 flip tip slips in Aussie's clip: Apple's 'reversible USB' leaks
New plug not compatible with official Type-C, according to fresh rumors
Top Gun display for your CAR: Heads-up fighter pilot tech
Sadly Navdy kit doesn't include Sidewinder missile to blast traffic
FEAST YOUR EYES: Samsung's Galaxy Alpha has an 'entirely new appearance'
Wow, it looks like nothing else on the market, for sure
YES YES YES! Apple patents mousy, pressure-sensing iVibrator
Fanbois prepare to experience the great Cupertin-O
Steve Jobs had BETTER BALLS than Atari, says Apple mouse designer
Xerox? Pff, not even in the same league as His Jobsiness
TV transport tech, part 1: From server to sofa at the touch of a button
You won't believe how much goes into today's telly tech
Apple analyst: fruity firm set to shift 75 million iPhones
We'll have some of whatever he's having please
Things are looking up in Flappy Bird sequel
'Swing Copters' offers the same gameplay but in a different direction
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Solving today's distributed Big Data backup challenges
Enable IT efficiency and allow a firm to access and reuse corporate information for competitive advantage, ultimately changing business outcomes.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.