Feeds

iPad Fleshlight lets fanbois express their love

Coming soon: Fondleslab f**king

The essential guide to IT transformation

NSFW - UPDATED A conceptual design for a new iPad case would let Apple fanbois get very personal indeed with their favorite fondleslab.

The Fleshlight iPad holder comes to us from the fertile, febrile mind of prolific designer, author, recipe-creator, and opinionater Tv Slicèdbread Miller. The device – currently only in conceptual-design form – clips onto the outside of the iPad (lengthwise of course), and allows the user to pleasure himself while looking at the screen.

Presumably porn makers would leap at the chance to come up with shooting styles that enhance the illusion that the user is making love to an actual human, rather than a slab of electronics enhanced with a ribbed polymer pocket.

Fleshlight iPad case

Do to Apple what Apple does to you (source: TVMiller)

The caressing core of the concept, the Fleshlight itself, was invented by a former police SWAT team member, patent-protected as a “device useful for collection of sperm from human males”, and is one of the best-selling sex toys in the world. Designed to look like an ordinary flashlight, the device has a molded polymer interior which, when heated and lubricated, apparently feels somewhat like a vagina – or so we're told.

When it comes to geek sex toys, Apple fans are well ahead of the field, according to research by UK smut accessorymonger LoveHoney. It found that iPad owners spent the most on their assistive technologies, followed by iPhone and Mac owners, with Windows geeks bringing up the rear.

While the Fleshlight manufacturers already sell mountings for their product, they have yet to move into the fondleslab field. If the design does make it to production then you’ll have the perfect gift for the geek who has everything – except a girlfriend. ®

Update

Fleshlight has confirmed to El Reg that a development project to build a iPad interface with the device is well in hand. We'll keep a firm grip on the situation and let you know as plans firm up.

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

More from The Register

next story
So, Apple won't sell cheap kit? Prepare the iOS garden wall WRECKING BALL
It can throw the low cost race if it looks to the cloud
Apple's iWatch? They cannae do it ... they don't have the POWER
Analyst predicts fanbois will have to wait until next year
AMD unveils 'single purpose' graphics card for PC gamers and NO ONE else
Chip maker claims the Radeon R9 285 is 'best in its class'
Apple promises to lift Curse of the Drained iPhone 5 Battery
Have you tried turning it off and...? Never mind, here's a replacement
Barnes & Noble: Swallow a Samsung Nook tablet, please ... pretty please
Novelslab finally on sale with ($199 - $20) price tag
Apple to build WORLD'S BIGGEST iStore in Dubai
It's not the size of your shiny-shiny...
Just in case? Unverified 'supersize me' iPhone 6 pics in sneak leak peek
Is bigger necessarily better for the fruity firm's flagship phone?
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Scale data protection with your virtual environment
To scale at the rate of virtualization growth, data protection solutions need to adopt new capabilities and simplify current features.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?