Feeds

iPad Fleshlight lets fanbois express their love

Coming soon: Fondleslab f**king

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

NSFW - UPDATED A conceptual design for a new iPad case would let Apple fanbois get very personal indeed with their favorite fondleslab.

The Fleshlight iPad holder comes to us from the fertile, febrile mind of prolific designer, author, recipe-creator, and opinionater Tv Slicèdbread Miller. The device – currently only in conceptual-design form – clips onto the outside of the iPad (lengthwise of course), and allows the user to pleasure himself while looking at the screen.

Presumably porn makers would leap at the chance to come up with shooting styles that enhance the illusion that the user is making love to an actual human, rather than a slab of electronics enhanced with a ribbed polymer pocket.

Fleshlight iPad case

Do to Apple what Apple does to you (source: TVMiller)

The caressing core of the concept, the Fleshlight itself, was invented by a former police SWAT team member, patent-protected as a “device useful for collection of sperm from human males”, and is one of the best-selling sex toys in the world. Designed to look like an ordinary flashlight, the device has a molded polymer interior which, when heated and lubricated, apparently feels somewhat like a vagina – or so we're told.

When it comes to geek sex toys, Apple fans are well ahead of the field, according to research by UK smut accessorymonger LoveHoney. It found that iPad owners spent the most on their assistive technologies, followed by iPhone and Mac owners, with Windows geeks bringing up the rear.

While the Fleshlight manufacturers already sell mountings for their product, they have yet to move into the fondleslab field. If the design does make it to production then you’ll have the perfect gift for the geek who has everything – except a girlfriend. ®

Update

Fleshlight has confirmed to El Reg that a development project to build a iPad interface with the device is well in hand. We'll keep a firm grip on the situation and let you know as plans firm up.

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
Chipmaker FTDI bricking counterfeit kit
USB-serial imitators whacked by driver update
Xperia Z3: Crikey, Sony – ANOTHER flagship phondleslab?
The Fourth Amendment... and it IS better
Don't wait for that big iPad, order a NEXUS 9 instead, industry little bird says
Google said to debut next big slab, Android L ahead of Apple event
Microsoft to enter the STRUGGLE of the HUMAN WRIST
It's not just a thumb war, it's total digit war
A drone of one's own: Reg buyers' guide for UAV fanciers
Hardware: Check. Software: Huh? Licence: Licence...?
The Apple launch AS IT HAPPENED: Totally SERIOUS coverage, not for haters
Fandroids, Windows Phone fringe-oids – you wouldn't understand
Apple SILENCES Bose, YANKS headphones from stores
The, er, Beats go on after noise-cancelling spat
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.