Area 51 to host sci-fi knocking shop
'Alien Cathouse' will cater to 'all flavors of geek fantasy'
An enterprising Nevada brothel owner has decided to cash in on the fame of Area 51 and offer alien-hungry tourists the chance to get their rocks off in a sci-fi themed knocking shop.
Bordello vet Dennis Hof has acquired a "disgusting, terrible" house of ill-repute some 90 miles (145km) northwest of Las Vegas which, with the creative input of Tinsel Town madam Heidi Fleiss, will become the "Alien Cathouse" catering to "all flavors of geek fantasy".
The extraterrestrial riding academy will, along with a bar, gas station and convenience store, become the "Area 51 Alien Travel Center". Hof explained  to CBS: "Area 51 is a big place. If you turn off my driveway and head up 15 miles there it is. I really wanted to capitalize on it.”
Fleiss' role is that of "chief alien design queen", and among the critical decisions facing her is "whether or not to paint the women green to resemble Orion Slave Girl characters from Star Trek".
CBS explains that Hof is also hoping to rope in William Shatner in some unspecified capacity, because "[w]ho would know this stuff better?"
One thing we're pretty certain Shats won't be doing down at the Area 51 Alien Travel Center is entertaining punters in the bar with a nightly musical show. Those of you of a nervous disposition are advised not to watch this video: