Well, burn my atomic-clock-powered new human renaissance platform
Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow! It's Quotes of the Year 2011
We are on a burning platform. Which I have set on fire myself
“The burning platform, upon which the man found himself, caused the man to shift his behaviour, and take a bold and brave step into an uncertain future.”
New Nokia CEO Stephen Elop concludes an extraordinary intranet blog post that became known as the 'Burning Platform' memo, and that was first revealed to the wider world at El Reg. Elop set fire to Nokia's own Meego and Linux platforms, and bet the future on Microsoft's Windows Phone a week later: the First Day of the Elopocalypse.
"Looks like you were wrong eh? Fukushima has done everything I said it would on the BBC. Dear me! Will we get an apology?"
Chris Busby, in an email to El Reg. When the aging Fukushima reactor suffered tsunami damage in Japan, professional scaremonger and scientific advisor to the Green Party Busby was all over the news. Nuclear convert George Monbiot later relayed claims by Busby that the Japanese government was deliberately spreading radioactive material around Japan. And the death toll from radiation release (as opposed to the quake and tsunami wave)? Zero, and set to remain at zero. Much lower than the bloody toll exacted by putting up wind turbines in Britain. But do spare a thought for the heroic Swede who attempted to construct his own nuclear reactor on his kitchen stove, from material taken from smoke detectors.
“This is a book that should have stayed a tweet”
We'll forgive academic Evegeny Morozov for operating the world's dullest Twitter feed, simply for this demolition of Jeff Jarvis' Public Parts: How Sharing in the Digital Age Improves the Way We Work and Live, the latest in the attention-seeking journalism professor's baby-talk series. OK, it's an uneven contest - and it might even be a sledgehammer cracking a nutcase. But it's dirty work, so it's good that somebody's doing it.
"The columnist sat down in his living room last night, facing an empty chair and answered questions Parkinson had asked Muhammad Ali, David Niven and Billy Connolly in a series of memorable interviews in the mid to late 1970s."
The Daily Mash makes merry with Independent columnist Johann Hari, whose practice of plagiarising quotes from earlier interviews and passing them off as his own was revealed this year.
"Since my interviews are intellectual portraits, that I hope explain how a person thinks, it seemed the most thorough way of doing it," he explained. The star journalist also made thousands of derogatory edits to Wikipedia entries of other well-known left wing writers under the name 'David Rose'. Having taken a brief journalism course, Hari resumes work at the Independent in the New Year.
Next page: You were WRONG on the INTERNET