Feeds

Well, burn my atomic-clock-powered new human renaissance platform

Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow! It's Quotes of the Year 2011

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

Grauniad: We're sure there's some news but we're too busy blogging to find out what it is


Some Silicon Valley guy: wants creators to pay him, so he can get even richer

“I am TechCrunch and TechCrunch is me”

Michael Arrington, founder of nontrepreneurs' bible TechCrunch, which was acquired by AOL in February. TechCrunch's speciality was passing on spoon-fed "scoops" from VC investors about their hopless web startups. Then Arrington decided to cut out the middleman by starting a hopeless web startup investment fund of his own. This opened up a glorious prospect that every story could directly benefit Arrington himself - a move of staggering genius. After insisting this was in no way a conflict of interest, Arrington departed AOL.


“We're sure there is some news in there, but we don't have time to watch it because we're live blogging”

The Guardian re-defines online journalism. Thanks!


“It’s like the Gaia Theory: a butterfly flaps its wings and a tsunami happens in another part of the world”

Sarah Hunter, Google's Head of UK Public Policy , has a go at explaining the internet. This inspired some terrific, Hunteresque rival theories.


“So the caesium atomic clocks are necessary to make all this technology work”

English graduate and Britain's leading voiceover artist Stephen Fry explains how the internet works, on the BBC. Apparently all these "packets" need to be delivered right on time. This spawned a number of reader-penned Fry-style Explanations of How Christmas Tree Lights Work, How TV works, and how How Lightbulbs Work - which are quite fantastic.


"You have to explain to them that that is the beginnings of a new renaissance in human civilisation and that they should not only, not even get out of the way, but they should join us in making the world a much better place."

Ben Hammersley, talking about the web. The prodigious Hammersley specialises in explaining the web to slack-jawed public-sector middle management, as this tour-de-force of childishness demonstrates. Quite appropriately, the Hamm was appointed as the 'Prime Minister's Ambassador to Tech City'. Look out, Stephen Fry.


“Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.”

Allegedly: the last words of the late Stephen P Jobs (1955-2011). The sole source for this, remember, is his sister Monica Simpson, a professional fiction-creator. We subsequently learned via his Official Biographer that Jobs dismissed dozens of nursing staff, making it likely that Jobs last words were really "You're fired, motherf..!" Still, the Simpson myth version is altogether kinder, evokes a prophet glimpsing a transcendental plane - or perhaps the iPad 3 - so let's go with that. ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.