Feeds

Well, burn my atomic-clock-powered new human renaissance platform

Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow! It's Quotes of the Year 2011

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

We are on a burning platform. Which I have set on fire myself


“The burning platform, upon which the man found himself, caused the man to shift his behaviour, and take a bold and brave step into an uncertain future.”

New Nokia CEO Stephen Elop concludes an extraordinary intranet blog post that became known as the 'Burning Platform' memo, and that was first revealed to the wider world at El Reg. Elop set fire to Nokia's own Meego and Linux platforms, and bet the future on Microsoft's Windows Phone a week later: the First Day of the Elopocalypse.


"Looks like you were wrong eh? Fukushima has done everything I said it would on the BBC. Dear me! Will we get an apology?"

Chris Busby, in an email to El Reg. When the aging Fukushima reactor suffered tsunami damage in Japan, professional scaremonger and scientific advisor to the Green Party Busby was all over the news. Nuclear convert George Monbiot later relayed claims by Busby that the Japanese government was deliberately spreading radioactive material around Japan. And the death toll from radiation release (as opposed to the quake and tsunami wave)? Zero, and set to remain at zero. Much lower than the bloody toll exacted by putting up wind turbines in Britain. But do spare a thought for the heroic Swede who attempted to construct his own nuclear reactor on his kitchen stove, from material taken from smoke detectors.


domesday

“This is a book that should have stayed a tweet”

We'll forgive academic Evegeny Morozov for operating the world's dullest Twitter feed, simply for this demolition of Jeff Jarvis' Public Parts: How Sharing in the Digital Age Improves the Way We Work and Live, the latest in the attention-seeking journalism professor's baby-talk series. OK, it's an uneven contest - and it might even be a sledgehammer cracking a nutcase. But it's dirty work, so it's good that somebody's doing it.


"The columnist sat down in his living room last night, facing an empty chair and answered questions Parkinson had asked Muhammad Ali, David Niven and Billy Connolly in a series of memorable interviews in the mid to late 1970s."

The Daily Mash makes merry with Independent columnist Johann Hari, whose practice of plagiarising quotes from earlier interviews and passing them off as his own was revealed this year.

"Since my interviews are intellectual portraits, that I hope explain how a person thinks, it seemed the most thorough way of doing it," he explained. The star journalist also made thousands of derogatory edits to Wikipedia entries of other well-known left wing writers under the name 'David Rose'. Having taken a brief journalism course, Hari resumes work at the Independent in the New Year.

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.