Feeds

Oedipal shower romp wins crap sex award

Mum abuses son 'with a bar of soap', author David Guterson explains

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

US author David Guterson has walked off with this year's Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Award, for an admirable contribution to the genre in his novel Ed King.

The book is ominously described as "a re-imagining of the Oedipus myth", and the judges were particularly impressed with "the part where a mother has sex with her son":

In the shower, Ed stood with his hands at the back of his head, like someone just arrested, while she abused him with a bar of soap. After a while he shut his eyes, and Diane, wielding her fingernails now and staring at his face, helped him out with two practiced hands, one squeezing the family jewels, the other vigorous with the soap-and-warm-water treatment.

Guterson saw off some "strong competition" in the form of Haruki Murakami, whose 1Q84 offered the insight that "a freshly made ear and a freshly made vagina look very much alike".

Chris Adrian's The Great Night also made a plausible bid for glory, featuring "an 'impossibly stiff, impossibly eloquent cock' that 'poked her now from the front and now from the back and now from the side'," the Literary Review explains.

Guterson was unable to make it to the In and Out Naval and Military Club in London to accept his prize from Carry On legend Babs Windsor, so it fell to a representative of his publisher Bloomsbury to do the honours.

The author did, though, say of his triumph: "Oedipus practically invented bad sex, so I'm not in the least bit surprised."

Irish author Rowan Somerville secured last year's Bad Sex in Fiction Award for his second novel The Shape of Her, which included gems such as: "Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her."

Other previous winners include the late Norman Mailer and Tom Wolfe, who in 2004 wowed the judges with this extract from I am Charlotte Simmons: "Slither slither slither slither went the tongue, but the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on, the hand, since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns." ®

The smart choice: opportunity from uncertainty

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN
Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Securing Web Applications Made Simple and Scalable
Learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.