Feeds

LOHAN's concrete derrière dubbed WIDDECOMBE

Heavyweight Brit politico beats off stiff opposition

Security for virtualized datacentres

We recently decided that the forthcoming Rocketry Experimental High Altitude Barosimulator (REHAB) rocket motor test would benefit from a concrete block wall behind which Special Projects Bureau operatives can tremble as the big red ignition button is pressed.

Click here for a bigger version of the LOHAN graphic

Naturally, this being El Reg's audacious Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) spaceplane project, we also reckoned some concrete buttocks and a suitably silly backronym should be thrown into the protective mix.

Accordingly, we got straight down to it, working under the provisional codename "J-Lo", for several very prominent reasons:

Our artist's impression of how the J-Lo wall might look, with concrete buttocks

Looking good, but what does J-Lo stand for exactly? Or indeed, what alternative appropriate backronyms might be magically conjured from amply-arsed celebs?

Perhaps ill-advisedly, we threw the matter over to you lot, who promptly outdid/disgraced (the readers can decide which) yourselves with the following list:

  • Jouncy-lithic obstruction (J-Lo)
  • Advanced Research Safety Enclosure (ARSE)
  • Aegis Resisting Sudden Explosions (ARSE)
  • Barrier Utilising Moulded Concrete Reliefs Against Catastrophic Kaboom (BUMCRACK)
  • Blast And Projectile Shielding (BAPS)
  • Cement Layer (for) Excluding Fiery Takeoffs (CLEFT)
  • Concrete Housing Ensuring Experimenter's Kinetic Shielding (CHEEKS)
  • Kinetic Anti-Trauma Obstruction - Non Ablative (KATONA)
  • Limiter Of Potentially Explosive Zone (LOPEZ)
  • Probably Immolation Proof Posterior Aggregate (PIPPA)
  • Shrapnel (and) Heat Absorbing Kinetic Impact Resisting Armour (SHAKIRA)

Ahem. A couple of further offerings caught our eye, including more Middleton-based tomfoolery, viz: Photoshop Improved Personnel Protection Apparatus, or (as our correspondent then corrected), Posterior-Implant-Pimped Protective Ass-embly.

We believe, however, that the whole point of the fragrant Pippa Middleton is that her celebrated buttocks are 100 per cent pert and 100 per cent authentic, with not a suggestion of the surgeon's knife, or indeed Photoshop manipulation.

That may or may not be true of Mythbusters Kari Byron, who apparently had her butt scanned for some reason or another, and the memory of which distracted one reader from actually offering a backronym for his suggestion of KARI.

So, no beer for him, but a runners-up pint of foaming ale for our American cousin who brewed up "GOBLEWOB", a highly agreeable if off-topic neologism which apparently means "Group Of Besotted Limeys Erecting Walls Of Buttocks"

GOBLEWOB would have taken this particular backronym challenge, had it actually had anything to do with the matter at hand, ie, celebrity posteriors.

Our winner in this case is whoever it was who dreamt up "WIDDECOMBE", or "Wall Intended to Deflect Debris Ejections Coming Outta Makeshift Barometric Enclosure". Award yourself beer, sir, and plenty of it.

The WIDDECOMBE wall it is, then, and for those of you who haven't got a clue what we're talking about, pour yourselves a very stiff brandy and check this out:

®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Voyager 1 now EIGHTEEN LIGHT HOURS from home
Almost 20 BEEELION kilometres from Sol
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
ROGUE SAIL BOAT blocks SPACE STATION PODULE blastoff
Er, we think our ISS launch beats your fishing expedition
Comet Siding Spring revealed as flying molehill
Hiding from this space pimple isn't going to do humanity's reputation any good
BAE points electromagnetic projectile at US Army
Railguns for 'Future fighting vehicle'
OK Google, do I have CANCER?
Company talks up pill that would spot developing tumors
LONG ARM of the SAUR: Brachially gifted dino bone conundrum solved
Deinocheirus mirificus was a bit of a knuckle dragger
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
The hidden costs of self-signed SSL certificates
Exploring the true TCO for self-signed SSL certificates, including a side-by-side comparison of a self-signed architecture versus working with a third-party SSL vendor.