Feeds

Shock claim: Playing Elder Scrolls WILL MAKE YOU GAY

Skyrim jobs for all

Security for virtualized datacentres

Many of you will take to the pad this weekend, bashing away at fantasies, wiggling the necromancer, whacking demons and enjoying all else that Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim has to offer.

But since playing the game, have any of you noticed feeling more inclined to turn the other cheek? Have you been spotting euphemisms for masturbation in the text you read? Well you've probably been affected by Skyrim's homosexual undertones that are sure to take a straight man and turn him gay.

That's the satirical claims of Christwire anyway, a parody site that mocks the views of conservative Christians who like to take swipes at videogames.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Looking for a night of magic big boy?

Apparently, if you are a responsible parent, you should keep your kids away from Bethesda's latest RPG as it's just "violent dragon porn" that goes "against God and would send [a gamer's] soul to the fire pits of Hell".

Have a ganders at the article - it's pretty funny Friday reading, especially when it starts giving definitions for terms such as 'Skyrim Jobs', 'Dragon Fisting' and 'Icy Spear'. Probably not suitable for work, though.

You'd think the author could have been a bit more accurate in his satirical complaint too, listing the game as an MMORPG made by Blizzard. Apparently Skyrim can be found on PlayStation 1, 2 or 3, Gamecube or Xbox 360 Live Kentic as well.

Er... Kentic?

OK, it's clearly a joke and just one story within dozens that make fun of the stereotypical views of conservative Christians, but let's not forget there are actually people in the world who believe all this, many of whom are one handed spear-cleaners. Apparently. ®

New hybrid storage solutions

More from The Register

next story
Apple iPhone 6: Missing sapphire glass screen FAIL explained
They just cannae do it in time, says analyst
Slap my Imp up: Bullfrog's Dungeon Keeper
Monsters need to earn a living too
Oh noes, fanbois! iPhone 6 Plus shipments 'DELAYED' in the UK
Is EMBIGGENED Apple mobile REALLY that popular?
Apple's big bang: iPhone 6, ANOTHER iPhone 6 Plus and WATCH OUT
Let's >sigh< see what Cupertino has been up to for the past year
The Apple Watch and CROTCH RUBBING. How are they related?
Plus: 'NostrilTime' wristjob vid action
Apple's SNEAKY plan: COPY ANDROID. Hello iPhone 6, Watch
Sizes, prices and all – but not for the wrist-o-puter
Apple Pay is a tidy payday for Apple with 0.15% cut, sources say
Cupertino slurps 15 cents from every $100 purchase
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.