Feeds

ALL US pro basketball to be played by topless strippers

As NBA lockout continues, NYC team names its ball-handler

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

A former NBA superstar was been tugged in by a bunch of hoop-shooting strippers as their head coach ahead of the launch of a basketball league comprised entirely of topless dancers.

The 23-strong Rick's Cabaret International chain of "upscale adult night clubs" set up its league after spotting a hole in the market – due to an acrimonious dispute between the NBA and players that has shut down the league for the last five months.

Rick's Cabaret announced its league last month, and has committed to field a team of topless ball shooting, slam-dunking lovelies from each of its 23 establishments, which the firm explains cater "primarily for businessmen and professionals".

At last month's launch, Gianna, a player from Rick's NYC establishment explained, entirely plausibly, “We have all been disappointed that the NBA season hasn’t gotten underway yet, and a number of players who stop by the club have told us that they’d pay to see us play in our stripper heels, so we decided to form our own league."

While the girls are clearly enthusiastic about their sporting futures, the pro will no doubt coach them in an array of ball-handling skills, as well as both shooting and dribbling.

Gianna also guaranteed the league would be "hot", with her colleague Sky adding: "In designing our team's outfits, we decided less is more.

Speaking this week about the pre-announcement of the as yet un-named ball pro, Sky said: "I hear he's going to have us do a workout on Tuesday in front of the press. I can't wait to show off some of my moves!"

Sky has also been officially named "point guard" for the NYC team. That key position is seen as the most specialised in any basketball team, meaning Sky will be directing the team's offence. The position is also known as ball-handler in the trade.

Rick's Cabaret operates under a number of other monikers, including XTC, Club Onyx and Tootsie's Cabaret – but is quite clear that sexual contact is not permitted at its locations. It also operates a net auction business called Naughtybids.com. ®

Bootnote

We're not sure Rick's Cabaret has really thought this through, as workplace injury payouts can be crippling, as can the practice of attempting a jumpshot in high heels. Perhaps netball, which involves rather less jumping about – although perhaps less bouncing than optimal – would be more suitable.

Seven Steps to Software Security

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Seven Steps to Software Security
Seven practical steps you can begin to take today to secure your applications and prevent the damages a successful cyber-attack can cause.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.