Feeds

US quakes before MENACING TURKEYS, snow globes

Border control operatives hunt down anomalous pies

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

Americans have been advised to head for the bunkers as Department of Homeland Security quakes before the latest threat existential threat to the union: Thanksgiving.

The department, founded in the wake of the September 11 attacks, tweeted a series of warnings to worried citizens yesterday, as the danger level escalated.

The main threat appears to be from deep-fried turkeys. But snow globes and anomalous pies have also been fingered in the ongoing holiday security crackdown.

Yesterday at lunch time, it warned concerned citizens:

Use turkey fryers at safe distance f/ buildings. Never use turkey fryers in a garage or on a wooden deck

An update just two hours later added:

#Turkey safety: Make sure the turkey is completely thawed before placing in a fryer, or this may happen (video) youtube.com/watch?v=yObDuY...

As the deep-fried turkey threat level increased, the agency tweeted two hours later to warn all Americans to review their family's emergency plans over the holiday period, and provided a link to a selection of cheerful conversation starters.

However, the hydra-headed DHS is not letting the growing menace of deep-fried turkey distract it from other threats, and has highlighted its efforts to counter other dreaded holiday items.

Pies are permitted on planes, its in-house blogger advised, "but they are subject to additional screening if our officers see any anomalies".

Live turkeys are also permitted, though not, presumably deep-fried.

Other forbidden items are snow globes, because: "They are sealed containers full of liquid that would have to be opened and destroyed to test."

It also advised flyers to check their bags for guns and knives, although it accepted this "sounds silly". But yes, it appears some people to forget to pack everything needed for an extended break with the family. ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?
Compulsory code schools, luvvies love it, but what about Maths and Physics?
Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know
'Missy' Cummings on UAVs, smartcars and dying from boredom
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts
UK government: 'Taking a stand against a baying cyber-mob'
Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz
Start hoarding cleaning supplies, analyst firm says, and assume your team will scatter
Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots
We know what the Doctor does, stop going on about it already
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.