Feeds

Spanish firemen grapple naked stairs sex Brit

Left dangling by her ankle after rumpy-pumpy tumble

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

A 49-year-old British tourist was rescued by "surprised" Tenerife firemen after an energetic shag ended with her dangling naked by her ankle from a flight of holiday apartment stairs.

The unfortunate victim of decidedly unsafe sex - named only as "AMAM" - was indulging in "frenzied" rumpy-pumpy with her husband on a landing of the stairs in Adeje when she took a tumble over the handrail.

She fell several metres, but came to a sudden stop just above the ground when her right ankle got stuck between two metal balusters. Hubby's call to the emergency services propted the swift arrival of local and national police, an ambulance and a fire engine.

Despite the initial shock of the sight of a disrobed middle-aged Brit hanging upside-down, firemen didn't beat around the bush, and forced the balusters apart to free the victim.

An initial inspection of the ankle suggested nothing more serious than a minor fracture, although medics decided a trip to hospital was in order.

The tourist's memorable night continued in dramatic fashion when the ambulance's lights and siren clapped out, obliging a police car to open a passage to the hospital. ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.