Pickles plans curry colleges to halt Indian immigration
Training British chefs to replace non-locals
The conservative UK secretary of state for communities and local government, the Rt Hon Eric Pickles, has plans to build a “curry college” to teach unemployed British youth how to replace cooks formerly hired from the Indian sub-continent.
The planned culinary academy is designed to teach British people how to master Indian and Asian cuisine, now that the Home Office is being increasingly tight-fisted about providing working visas to immigrants from Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan. Pickle's project is based on the current Conservative government policy, which states that "we do not need to attract people to do jobs that could be carried out by British citizens, given the right training and support."
Pickles is obviously a man who cares deeply about his food, as his most recent Twitter picture-post (his only one in the last six months) shows:
Eric Pickles picks up an evening's culinary delight
One hopes Pickles didn’t take Rowan Atkinson’s Tory immigration parody seriously. Teaching British chefs to match the culinary skills of the local takeaway may well be possible, but for those of raised on 1960s-era British curry, with apples and sultanas – dried fruit to you stateside Reg readers – mixed into a watery gloop with homeopathic levels of spice, it’s not a pleasant thought.
That said, chicken tikka masala is possibly a British invention, according to a 2009 early day motion put before Parliament to grant Glasgow European Union Protected Designation of Origin for the dish.
Strange that the macaroni cheese pie and deep-fried Cadbury’s crème egg weren’t also included in the motion.
You can chortle all you like about the curry college, but it’s part of a larger move to seriously restrict foreign immigration into the UK – provided you’re not wealthy and willing to let a little of that trickle down into the local economy, notably the housing and luxury goods markets.
For the rest of us, we’re going to have to stagger a little further for a good post-pub feed. ®
Hot food is extremely hard physical work
Because catering is absolutely back breaking work. I run an 'English' Chippy (I'm not ethnically English) and it requires about 70 hours of input from me and 40 hours labour input through various staff I hire (not at min wage either).
It is also kind of risky, chav robberies and abuse is frequent, lots of prepared stuff goes to waste and someweeks business simply evaporates. This week for instance I'm set to make a loss. The same customers are coming in but are buying considerably less.
Add in the uber high business rates and rent I need to find £19000 in rent business rates and various other things like insurance before I even open for one hour.
IN my line of work I deal with over 100 Indian (actually Bangladesh) restaurants and takeaways. Almost to man they all say that the restrictions on staff from abroad are causing mayhem.
They also say that in general, British born asians are not interested as they have aspirations of what they consider to be better things.
One owner has 5 children, all have gone to university, two doctors, a solicitor and graphic designer and one at still in education. The guy has not had a day off in 12 years.
None of his family want the business. Pickles is just worried he might lose a bit of weight.
It takes a very special brand of genius to come up with this idea
We *could* spend our money ensuring kids have the skills to compete in a global marketplace dominated by high technology, engineering and manufacturing (like they are in - sayyyyy India). We could see if immigrant groups have equal access to education and training so that they could work in what's left of our economy; or we could just assume that people from the subcontinent and their children are happy to continue making curry.