Pakistan bans rude text messages
'Fondleslab' is offensive apparently
Text messaging has long been derided for diminished linguistic skills and increased profanity, especially among yoof.
In a bid to tackle the issue, officials in Pakistan have forced mobile operators to block all texts that feature specific offensive words.
The country's telecoms regulator, the Pakistan Telecomminication Authority, has produced a list of more than 1000 words and phrases that operators must look out for, The Guardian reports.
We're not just talking F-bombs, C-nuts and other usual suspects. Seemingly inoffensive words such as "flatulence", "deposit" and "fondle" are also on the censor's list. Residents better not brag about playing with their fondleslabs over there, then.
Obscure phrases like "flogging the dolphin" and "pocket pool" have been barred too, along with terms like "strap-on", "crotch-rot" and "beat your meat".
Watchdog director Muhammad Talib Doger wrote to the country's various mobile operators insisting "the system should be implemented within seven days... and a report submitted to PTA on monthly basis on the number of blocked SMSs".
Attached to the letter was a list of 1109 English phrases - and 586 more in Urdu - which the PTA wants banned. Even more are apparently facing the chop in the near future. WTF?
While it will be hard to completely restrict the use of every phrase, operators expect fines should they not comply.
It's probably about time the folk in Pakistan started downloading the Viz Profanisaurus app. Surely the watchdog will struggle to stop people asking if the wife fancies a "Dutch oyster" later as one's "trouser truncheon" needs a good "snake charm". You never know, though. ®
As a Pakistani-born Brit, it's good to see the government of Pakistan tackling what's fundamentally wrong with and destroying the country - the texting of rude words - rather than wasting their time on inane and pointless diversions such as education, security, and economic, social, and political reform. With this new ban in place, it's only a short matter of time till Pakistan stops being a broken, superstitious, corrupt third would country and is the envy of the world.
Its reassuring to know that the Pakistan authorities have their ship in such good order that they can now concentrate on this sort of stuff.
Last I read they had porous borders with countries sponsoring terrorists, a huge mountain range full of terrorists, were blowing up foreign cricket teams, and harbouring Wheelie-bin laden. Not to mention wondering dangerously toward displacing democracy with some 16th C religious system of government. I guess that must all be in the past now though. Congratulations on your progress Pakistan.
You may not use it pejoratively, but I find it offensive.
I'd rather be called a "Limey" than a "Brit".
Have they included the words
Bomb, Plane, Semtex, Detonator, London Underground, Heathrow Airport, Infidels, YeeHah (or is it Jihad?) Thought not LOL
surely the 'yoofs' will get round this by spelling words purposefully wrong. Maybe backwards? Maybe swappiing the first and last letters? the two middle letters? Anything...