BOFH: The day the office budget bombed – literally
Explosive network kit Trojan
Curtains for PFY or will someone rain on the geek's parade?
"So you're saying someone saw him do this?" I ask.
"No," the geek says, with a slight hesitation.
"So it could have been anybody?"
"It COULDN'T have been anybody - and you know how I know this?"
"I'm sure I don't," I reply.
"I KNOW because I had this forensically analysed," he blurts, pointing to a label on the ziplock bag.
"Sorry, you had a laptop analysed by a forensics expert?" I ask, imagining CSI Luton and a new episode twist: one where they don't have to call in the kebab fat spatter analyst or rely on a shell-suit arse print to identify the culprit.
"Yes!" the H&S guy blurts triumphantly.
"I happened to notice the odour of ... urine."
"Oh, you mean when I tried to put the fire out after the extinguisher made things worse?"
"The same way you tried to put your boss out?" the H&S guy snaps, holding up another bag with the boss's scorched shirt in it.
"It was an act of mercy!"
"I think we all know what happened here - and as soon as your manager is ready to speak we'll get to the bottom of it. And rest assured that if there's even a HINT of suspicious activity in this I'll be referring this to the police!"
"As well you should," I say as he storms out of the office.
Two minutes later, the phone rings.
"I know it's you, you know," the H&S geek says.
"Us what?" I ask.
"That's turned off my network so I can't send any email."
"No, no, that'll just be your access port flaking out. Tell you what, I'll send the PFY up with a new desktop switch for you - we'll get that lit up in no time." ®