BOFH: The day the office budget bombed – literally

Explosive network kit Trojan

Curtains for PFY or will someone rain on the geek's parade?

"So you're saying someone saw him do this?" I ask.

"No," the geek says, with a slight hesitation.

"So it could have been anybody?"

"It COULDN'T have been anybody - and you know how I know this?"

"I'm sure I don't," I reply.

"I KNOW because I had this forensically analysed," he blurts, pointing to a label on the ziplock bag.

"Sorry, you had a laptop analysed by a forensics expert?" I ask, imagining CSI  Luton and a new episode twist: one where they don't have to call in the kebab fat spatter analyst or rely on a shell-suit arse print to identify the culprit.

"Yes!" the H&S guy blurts triumphantly.

"For what?"

"I happened to notice the odour of ... urine."

"Oh, you mean when I tried to put the fire out after the extinguisher made things worse?"

"The same way you tried to put your boss out?" the H&S guy snaps, holding up another bag with the boss's scorched shirt in it.

"It was an act of mercy!"

"I think we all know what happened here - and as soon as your manager is ready to speak we'll get to the bottom of it. And rest assured that if there's even a HINT of suspicious activity in this I'll be referring this to the police!"

"As well you should," I say as he storms out of the office.

Two minutes later, the phone rings.

"Hello Systems."

"I know it's you, you know," the H&S geek says.

"Us what?" I ask.

"That's turned off my network so I can't send any email."

"No, no, that'll just be your access port flaking out. Tell you what, I'll send the PFY up with a new desktop switch for you - we'll get that lit up in no time." ®

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