No charge after woman gave fellow prisoner a cop-car BJ
No need to be down in the mouth after Texas drugs arrest
A Texas woman arrested on drug charges has escaped additional sanctions for allegedly giving her fellow prisoner a blowjob in the back of a squad car en route to the county lockup.
Cops were called to the Whataburger in Porter, Texas on Monday, the Montgomery County Police Reporter reports, after police were told that an "intoxicated white male was passed out and his friend, another intoxicated white male, was attempting unsuccessfully to wake him by slapping him."
When a deputy arrived, he duly found the two men, and a female. While searching the sparked-out party for ID, he found "dozens" of hydrocodone and Soma pills. He also found a Soma pill on the still vaguely cognisant male, Howard Keith Windham, aged 30.
Meanwhile, the woman, 44-year-old Tina Marie Arie, admitted she'd slipped the other man some of her hydrocodone, while the deputy recovered prescription bottles from her motor.
After despatching non-sparky to hospital, the deputy cuffed Windham for possession of and Arie for delivery of a controlled substance.
En route to the station, he noticed "movement" in the back of the squad car, and then Arie slipped out of view, before telling the deputy she was tired and resting on her co-prisoner's lap.
The alert deputy realised something was up, and pulled over, whereupon he saw Windham's pants had been open and Arie "servicing his exposed genitalia". All the while, the pair were still securely cuffed.
The deputy told the pair to "cease the sexual contact" according to the County Police Reporter, and continued driving to jail. However, no additional charges were levied on either Arie or her coitally interrupted friend.
Apparently such coupling is known as a blue light special. Which is as much of a mouthful as a blue plate special, though even cheaper.
A sheriff's spokesman told the New York Daily News that the department had decided to classify the incident as an unauthorised conjugal visit, adding everything was "tucked back in" by the time they reached the jail. ®
Had she charged they'd have had her for another offence too.
Some people might consider revising their hydraulics...
The increase in pressure in erectile tissue is attained by smooth muscle constriction in the out-flowing blood vessels.
I'm too lazy to go work out whether the same sort of muscle relaxants that work on striated muscle will affect smooth muscle too, so consider than an exercise for the readers who assume that their penis works by magic.
You mean you never read "Brave New World"? I'd hazard a guess it's named the pills there (named in their turn after some tribal concoction, probably, given it's Aldous "doors of perception" Huxley writing).