Feeds

Bloke gets wedding tackle trapped in ring

Firemen bearing grinder tackle Southampton hampton shocker

Security for virtualized datacentres

A Southampton man who got his wedding tackle wedged in a metal ring was freed from his todger vice in the traditional local fashion: by trained fire brigade operatives wielding a grinder.

Sawbones at Southampton General Hospital called in the professionals after failing to extract the meat and two veg from the ring. Two crews felt it necessary to attend, having presumably missed the entertainment back in 2010 when another local got his spam javelin firmly lodged in a metal pipe.

The fire service diplomatically refused to elaborate on the Southampton hampton mishap, but a spokesman did offer: “It was certainly unfortunate. It is amazing what situations some people end up in.”

This report into the eye-waterer disappointingly notes it's "not clear what kind of ring was involved". ®

Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management

More from The Register

next story
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.