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Bloke gets wedding tackle trapped in ring

Firemen bearing grinder tackle Southampton hampton shocker

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

A Southampton man who got his wedding tackle wedged in a metal ring was freed from his todger vice in the traditional local fashion: by trained fire brigade operatives wielding a grinder.

Sawbones at Southampton General Hospital called in the professionals after failing to extract the meat and two veg from the ring. Two crews felt it necessary to attend, having presumably missed the entertainment back in 2010 when another local got his spam javelin firmly lodged in a metal pipe.

The fire service diplomatically refused to elaborate on the Southampton hampton mishap, but a spokesman did offer: “It was certainly unfortunate. It is amazing what situations some people end up in.”

This report into the eye-waterer disappointingly notes it's "not clear what kind of ring was involved". ®

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