Feeds

Bloke gets wedding tackle trapped in ring

Firemen bearing grinder tackle Southampton hampton shocker

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

A Southampton man who got his wedding tackle wedged in a metal ring was freed from his todger vice in the traditional local fashion: by trained fire brigade operatives wielding a grinder.

Sawbones at Southampton General Hospital called in the professionals after failing to extract the meat and two veg from the ring. Two crews felt it necessary to attend, having presumably missed the entertainment back in 2010 when another local got his spam javelin firmly lodged in a metal pipe.

The fire service diplomatically refused to elaborate on the Southampton hampton mishap, but a spokesman did offer: “It was certainly unfortunate. It is amazing what situations some people end up in.”

This report into the eye-waterer disappointingly notes it's "not clear what kind of ring was involved". ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.