Feeds

Prince Harry given free run of Arizona town's womenfolk

'Thank you,' pants ecstatic waitress

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Prince Harry has been given the green light to deflower the maidens of a small US town, after the town manager explained reports Cap'n Windsor had been warned off "fornicating" as "a total fabrication".

The UK tabs were cock-a-hoop yesterday about reports that the mayor of Gila Bend, where Harry is completing a weapons course, had warned the wannabe chopper pilot away from the town's womenfolk.

While Gila Bend is miles away from anywhere in the Arizona desert, the townsfolk were clearly familiar with old English customs such as droit de seigneur, and were already loading their shotguns to fend off the famously rambunctious royal.

"Some of the dads won’t take too kindly to a prince fornicating the night away and drinking into the small hours," Mayor Ron Henry reportedly said. "It is a very quiet town with a lot of good Christian people. This isn’t a party town.”

He also said, somewhat cryptically, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and we have some very pretty girls here."

However, according to the Daily Beast/Newsweek, the reports are "a total fabrication".

“The mayor is very upset about all this," town manager Rick Buss told the Beast. "We’re honoured to have the prince here, and we will respect his privacy.”

Buss said it was the reporter who'd brought up the subject of "fornicating" in a chat with the trusting mayor. "The reporter started asking him things like, ‘Oh, what about if Prince Harry went chasing after one of your daughters?’”

As it happens, Harry appears to have already had a taste of the local delights, already leaving one local girl gasping: "Thank you, and thank you for choosing this place to come and eat."

In fact, said Josie Villagas, a waitress at Gila Bend's Little Italy Restaurant, Harry said it was "the best pizza to eat in the world". ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.