Feeds

Oracle in stiff competition with SF smut merchants

Gentlemen’s clubs troll for OpenWorld rubes

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

OpenWorld San Francisco is bracing itself for an influx of around 50,000 technologists as the Oracle OpenWorld and JavaOne conferences kick off next week, and the city’s smut merchants – or gentlemen’s clubs as they prefer to be known – are making a play for attendees' attention.

The week of the two conferences is apparent to most of the city, geek or non-geek, since the show not only takes over the sprawling Moscone conference center, but also blocks the crowded commute route of Howard Street with pavilions, and clogs many surrounding hotels. Ellison & Co. also annex one of the prettiest public parks in the downtown area, Yerba Buena Gardens, meaning that local residents lose their sunshine lunch breaks for six days.

And now ten of the city’s parlors of negotiable affection have banded together to offer OpenWorld attendees free entry to their establishments, as long as they are wearing their Oracle badges. The group has taken full-page advertisements in the local free press to offer attendees alternative ways to spend their sojourn in the cool, grey city of love.

Gentlemen's club advertisements during Oracle OpenWorld

Ten sex establishments have joined forces to squeeze money from OpenWorld visitors ...

Another establishment, the more risqué New Century Theater, is offering attendees a $10 discount on its entrance fee. Since this establishment doesn’t serve alcohol, the performers may work nude, and El Reg understands that a trip to this establishment, while providing a truly American experience, does not include a merkin experience.

New Century Theater advertisement during Oracle OpenWorld

... and this less-generous establishment is doing its squeezing on its own

When Larry Ellison gives his keynote address on Sunday night, the conference hall is expected to be packed. But faced with the choice of sitting through the "Oracle's Metals, Mining, and Forestry Value Chain Industry Strategy" session or sipping a drink while watching someone get undressed – what choice will the overwhelmingly male attendees make?

For those looking to justify their lechery, there are economies to be made by using the special offer. By Thursday most attendees will be tiring of the plastic "food" traditionally served at the show and might want to head one block north to what appears from the sidewalk to be the less than sparklingly hygienic Gold Club, which offers a free buffet lunch. El Reg, however, advises that attendees take care what they might find in their creamy fettucini.

Perhaps in response to the concupiscent competition, Oracle is making sure that attendees aren’t going to get bored during the evenings. The company usually books big-name bands for the show parties, and this year is no exception: Sting, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, the (English) Beat, and Berlin have all signed up to perform in front of the largely middle-aged audience. The conference badge will also get you a range of discounts at more wholesome venues, such as the excellent California Academy of Sciences and a variety of restaurants.

Nevertheless, San Francisco's dens of vice know their stuff, and are clearly expecting a bumper crop of visitors to justify the outlay they are making. El Reg reminds visitors to remember that that is someone’s daughter, sister, and/or mother cavorting up there on stage, so show some respect for someone who may regard her job as even more unpleasant than database debugging. ®

Securing Web Applications Made Simple and Scalable

More from The Register

next story
Apple fanbois SCREAM as update BRICKS their Macbook Airs
Ragegasm spills over as firmware upgrade kills machines
HIDDEN packet sniffer spy tech in MILLIONS of iPhones, iPads – expert
Don't panic though – Apple's backdoor is not wide open to all, guru tells us
NO MORE ALL CAPS and other pleasures of Visual Studio 14
Unpicking a packed preview that breaks down ASP.NET
Captain Kirk sets phaser to SLAUGHTER after trying new Facebook app
William Shatner less-than-impressed by Zuck's celebrity-only app
Cheer up, Nokia fans. It can start making mobes again in 18 months
The real winner of the Nokia sale is *drumroll* ... Nokia
Mozilla fixes CRITICAL security holes in Firefox, urges v31 upgrade
Misc memory hazards 'could be exploited' - and guess what, one's a Javascript vuln
EU dons gloves, pokes Google's deals with Android mobe makers
El Reg cops a squint at investigatory letters
Chrome browser has been DRAINING PC batteries for YEARS
Google is only now fixing ancient, energy-sapping bug
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Reducing security risks from open source software
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.