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Aussie parrots hit the sauce and hit the deck

What shall we do with the drunken lorikeet?

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Spring is sprung, the grass is rizz, and the little birdies is dropping out of the sky, drunk.

It’s actually a regular event in the Northern Territory, at least: the beginning of the northern wet season also coincides with parrots like the Red-Collared Lorikeet somehow hitting the sauce and staggering into animal shelters to sleep it off.

As Australian Geographic reports, “drunk lorikeet” season is typified by birds falling over, having trouble flying, and colliding with things. Like your average pub drunk, they’re also prone to a parrot version of “I love youse brother”, instead losing their fear of people.

Northern Territory blogger Bob Gosford Tweeted to El Reg that “I’ve seen them roaring drunk and laughing out loud like Irish backpackers”.

The common explanation is that as the weather becomes warmer and wetter, some of the fruit that the birds favour start fermenting, knocking the parrots for six. And it’s not all fun and games: the wildlife carers say the benders and subsequent hangovers kill about half of the parrots brought into shelters each year. ®

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Pinin'

Shopkeep: He's pinin' for the fjords!

Customer: He's NOT pinin' 'e's bloody PISSED! Snokered! Hammered! Three sheets to the wind! Inebriated! Bereft of sobriety, 'e lies there waiting for an asprin! HEY POLLY! WANT AN ALKA-SELTZER, ALKY?

Parrot: oh man be quiet man, it's too piercing, i don't dig loud noises right now...

(with no apologies whatsoever to either the Pythons or to Stan Freberg.)

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Possible treatment

"the benders and subsequent hangovers kill about half of the parrots"

Have they tried giving them parrotcetamol?

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"......is typified by birds falling over........and colliding with things......."

Sounds like Saturday closing time in Basildon to me.

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