Feeds

Chocolate weighed in Schwarzeneggers: Official

World's largest candy bar = 51 Arnies

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Regular readers will be aware that a couple of years back we at El Reg established a set of standards designed to supersede the wholly inadequate imperial and metric measurements which had for so long battled for international supremacy.

For example, length, volume and weight are now quantified in linguine, grapefruit and Jubs, respectively, which we're sure you'll agree make a lot more sense than inches, cubic centimetres and ounces.

From time to time, however, we do expand the list to include new, case-specific measurements, such as water flow in elephants per second, stored data in CDs to the Moon, and icebergs in Manhattans.

Accordingly, we're delighted today to embrace the Schwarzenegger – a handy unit for expressing the weight of improbably large chocolate bars.

According to the Daily Mail, a US chocolatier recently produced a gargantuan bar tipping the scales at 12,000 pounds, which is equivalent to "51 Arnold Schwarzeneggers".

As you'll already have caclulated, the "Arnie", as we've chosen to dub it, is therefore equal to 235lb (106kg), or more properly, 25.23 Jubs.

Now, Schwarzenegger is a big bloke, but he's not as big as the bloke which the BBC said last week could be hurtling from space at a speed of up to 240mph – which is "10 times quicker than Usain Bolt", or 0.0036 per cent of the maximum velocity of a sheep in a vacuum, in case you were wondering.

To clarify, the Beeb advised readers to keep a sharp eye out for bits of NASA's rogue Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite as heavy as 158kg, or "equivalent to a very large person".

Well, by our reckoning that would probably be better put as "equivalent to a bloody enormous person", an individual so large he or she could certainly be snapped from space by any NASA satellite which happened not to be tumbling uncontrollably from orbit.

The BBC's failure to correctly describe its hurtling lard bucket means the "very large person" won't be making the Reg standards approved list.

Similarly, the Guardian's attempt to establish the "medal" as a measure of the weight of steel will not be coming soon to a set of scales near you.

In this piece on Stratford's Westfield shopping mall, the chattering classes' rag of choice reckoned said cathedral of consumerism consumed "40,000 tonnes of structural steel" in its construction – "equivalent to the weight of 80 million medals".

The paper was later obliged to clarify that that's actually "80 million Olympic gold medals", but we'd already lost interest in working out how many medals to the Jub and had wandered off to the pub. ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray
Want to arm that shark? Better get in there quick
Renewable energy 'simply WON'T WORK': Top Google engineers
Windmills, solar, tidal - all a 'false hope', say Stanford PhDs
The next big thing in medical science: POO TRANSPLANTS
Your brother's gonna die, kid, unless we can give him your, well ...
SEX BEAST SEALS may be egging each other on to ATTACK PENGUINS
Boffin: 'I think the behaviour is increasing in frequency'
Reuse the Force, Luke: SpaceX's Elon Musk reveals X-WING designs
And a floating carrier for recyclable rockets
NASA launches new climate model at SC14
75 days of supercomputing later ...
Britain's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission rakes in £200k
3 days, and Kickstarter moves lander 37% nearer takeoff
Simon's says quantum computing will work
Boffins blast algorithm with half a dozen qubits
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
10 threats to successful enterprise endpoint backup
10 threats to a successful backup including issues with BYOD, slow backups and ineffective security.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
The Heartbleed Bug: how to protect your business with Symantec
What happens when the next Heartbleed (or worse) comes along, and what can you do to weather another chapter in an all-too-familiar string of debilitating attacks?