Feeds

Ohio man cuffed for shagging inflatable pool raft

Pink, bouncy victim abducted in back-alley tryst

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

The grandmother of an Ohio man with a serious penchant for plastic has suggested her grandson needs urgent help after he was cuffed earlier this week for engaging in "sexual activity" with a pink inflatable swimming pool raft.

Edwin Charles Tobergta, 32, had already been arrested five times on public indecency charges when cops slapped on the bracelets after he was spotted getting down and dirty with the inflatable in Harmon, roughly 20 miles south of Akron.

The owner of the raft clocked Tobergta in an alleyway having his evil way with the pink pool accessory, and shouted at him to knock it off, at which point the perp took to his heels, taking his synthetic lover with him.

Cops finally caught up with him at his home, where he "admitted to the crime and begged for help", according to the police report.

The rap sheet explains: "Defendant advised officers that he was doing it but only because he has a problem and that he needs help and please don't send him to prison but send him somewhere to get help."

The plastic lover's gran, Linda Tobergta, claimed the poor bloke is suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder, and that the family's attempts to get him treatment had come to nothing. She said: "He has a lot of mental problems and he's always had a fascination for plastic. That's just it. That's all of it. We never could get the proper care for Edwin. It's like nobody cares."

Regular readers will note with interest that this is the second time we've been able to deploy the "Ohio man cuffed for shagging [insert object]" headline formula. Back in 2008, another Ohio man was cuffed for shagging a picnic table. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Pat Coughlin for the tip-off.

Remote control for virtualized desktops

More from The Register

next story
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know
OMG! Gravity's totes amazeballs. Calm down, George Clooney, not your film
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ
Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
The hidden costs of self-signed SSL certificates
Exploring the true TCO for self-signed SSL certificates, including a side-by-side comparison of a self-signed architecture versus working with a third-party SSL vendor.