Feeds

Ohio man cuffed for shagging inflatable pool raft

Pink, bouncy victim abducted in back-alley tryst

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

The grandmother of an Ohio man with a serious penchant for plastic has suggested her grandson needs urgent help after he was cuffed earlier this week for engaging in "sexual activity" with a pink inflatable swimming pool raft.

Edwin Charles Tobergta, 32, had already been arrested five times on public indecency charges when cops slapped on the bracelets after he was spotted getting down and dirty with the inflatable in Harmon, roughly 20 miles south of Akron.

The owner of the raft clocked Tobergta in an alleyway having his evil way with the pink pool accessory, and shouted at him to knock it off, at which point the perp took to his heels, taking his synthetic lover with him.

Cops finally caught up with him at his home, where he "admitted to the crime and begged for help", according to the police report.

The rap sheet explains: "Defendant advised officers that he was doing it but only because he has a problem and that he needs help and please don't send him to prison but send him somewhere to get help."

The plastic lover's gran, Linda Tobergta, claimed the poor bloke is suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder, and that the family's attempts to get him treatment had come to nothing. She said: "He has a lot of mental problems and he's always had a fascination for plastic. That's just it. That's all of it. We never could get the proper care for Edwin. It's like nobody cares."

Regular readers will note with interest that this is the second time we've been able to deploy the "Ohio man cuffed for shagging [insert object]" headline formula. Back in 2008, another Ohio man was cuffed for shagging a picnic table. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Pat Coughlin for the tip-off.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.