Neighbours cop an earful from screaming Swedish w*nker
Malmö onanist 'moans louder than an animal'
A Malmö man with a penchant for vociferous five-knuckle shuffling may have to put a sock in it after his traumatised neighbours reported him for really giving it some stick when cracking one off.
The shouty onanist apparently had previous form for watching the telly late at night with the volume cranked up, but his vocal solo performances proved the last straw.
Five tenants in the same building, who reckoned their landlord had failed to get a grip on the situation, filed a stiff complaint with the Malmö environmental administration, aka the Miljöförvaltningen, describing how their neighbour "masturbates and screams".
One wrote: "He moans louder than an animal... I can feel how it affects my state of mind." ®
Thanks to Mike Richards for the tip-off.
Unit of sound pressure pressure level?
Surely this calls for a revision of the Vulture Central Standards?
The "Swedish Wanker" is a measure of sound pressure level, equal to that of...
What a wanker
Couldn't they try putting him off by shouting their equivalent of "Maggie Thatcher naked covered in baby oil" though his letter box to put him off his stride?
"Has he though about writing a book on his technique?"
He did but the pages got stuck together.