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Neighbours cop an earful from screaming Swedish w*nker

Malmö onanist 'moans louder than an animal'

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

A Malmö man with a penchant for vociferous five-knuckle shuffling may have to put a sock in it after his traumatised neighbours reported him for really giving it some stick when cracking one off.

The shouty onanist apparently had previous form for watching the telly late at night with the volume cranked up, but his vocal solo performances proved the last straw.

Five tenants in the same building, who reckoned their landlord had failed to get a grip on the situation, filed a stiff complaint with the Malmö environmental administration, aka the Miljöförvaltningen, describing how their neighbour "masturbates and screams".

One wrote: "He moans louder than an animal... I can feel how it affects my state of mind." ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Mike Richards for the tip-off.

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