Feeds

Facial recognition tech proves Randi AND Mark are the same Zuck

Facebook's photo-tagging service uncovers shocking truth

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

World Exclusive After spending literally minutes researching photos of Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg and his older "sister" Randi on the interwebs, The Register can exclusively reveal that the siblings are in fact ONE AND THE SAME person.

Ironically, we uncovered the shocking truth with the help of Facebook's ground-breaking photo recognition technology, which usefully scans the faces of hordes of people that slavishly occupy the social network.

rarkmandi

Tag, you're it, Mark...

During our brief investigation that followed a tip-off from an avid reader of these pages, it became almost immediately obvious that Randi was merely a cunning-Web2.0-figment of Mark's computer-chipped imagination.

El Reg was first alerted to the possibility that Mark had been posing in frocks alongside American sweethearts such as Barbara Walters and Chelsea Clinton in an elaborate ruse to gain more friends on Facebook, when Randi announced she was moving on from the dominant social network earlier this week.

markrandi

This heavily photoshopped image in fact
marked out two Marks when scanned
by Facebook

Why would a Zuckerberg EVER LEAVE the book of face house, we pondered?

Within seconds a eagle-eyed Reg reader, who carries the surprisingly anonymous Google+ handle of Brazened Rick Rug, spotted that Mark was Randi. Or, just to muddy the waters even further, "MANDI WAS RARK!"

Our suspicions were nearly confirmed after a cryptology expert, who wishes to remain anonymous, broke the code in Mark's sister new company name, RtoZMedia.

He explained that the moniker wasn't only an anagram for the ominous "Admit Zero", but that it also spelled out "Amortized", which – as everyone knows – is about either LOANS or ASSETS.

atthesametime

More clever camera trickery busted
by photo recognition tech

Finally, we nailed Zuck by using the great man's very own facial recognition technology which has upset Germans, but apparently made the rest of the Facebook world REALLY happy.

The evidence is staggering, despite that Facebook is yet to provide your humble author with a statement 'fessing up. Come on, Mark, we urge you. Get in touch. ®

randimarctogether

Gotcha!

The smart choice: opportunity from uncertainty

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Securing Web Applications Made Simple and Scalable
Learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.