Episode 11

12:34:56am. Company Stores

9 ... 8 ... 7 ... 6 ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... SELFTEST: OK 2 ... 1

Peripheral test ... USB Boot Media ... OK Panel ... OK Cameras ... Std:OK,Infra:OK,UV:OK 3D Directional Mic OK Hi Speed Steppers 1:OK,2:OK,3:OK,4:OK SERVOS 1:OK,2:OK,3:OK,4:OK Battery OK, level 67% Servo Saw OK booting ...

no ntp update > 180 days!

Wireless Strategic Update ..... timeout. Update Server unavailable, assuming M.A.D.

>RRRRREEEEEeeeeeeeooooooooorrrrrrrrrr!< >crunch!<

>RRRRRrrreeeeooorrrrrrr< >clatter!<

>boop<

>PING!<

. . .

"So we're dealing with a break-in," the Boss says.

"A break-OUT, I think you'll find," the PFY says.

"No, a break-in. Someone's sneaked onto our floor, waited till it was dark and then cut their way down to Stores to steal something!"

At this point the Boss looks at the PFY and me as if willing one of us to break down in a tearful confession.

"To steal something that shouldn't have been here in the first place," I say, fingering the "Addressee Unknown – To be collected" label on a large crate with a hole cut out of the side of it. "How long's this crate been here?"

"Uhhhhh, that one, about eight months or so," Steve from Stores says. "We rung someone to come and collect it, but they must have forgotten. I tried again a couple of months later but the number was disconnected."

"Take a quick gander inside the box will you?" I ask, motioning the PFY over.

"Sawdust and woodchip?" the Boss says.

"Correct. And more dust inside the box than out – implying that whatever was IN the box has cut its way OUT."

"That's ridiculous! No one could survive for eight months in a tiny crate!"

"Yes, you'll notice I used the word someTHING, not someONE."

"Uh-oh," The PFY says, quietly reaching for Steve's unpacking hammer.

"Uh-oh, what?" Steve and the Boss blurt in unison.

"Aaaaaah-Nothing," the PFY says. "I think I left the iron on at home. But you're right, it must have been a break-in ..."

"How bad is it do you think?" the PFY asks as we ride the lift back to Mission Control.

"It depends. If it's just a sleeper bot programmed to murder us all in our sleep in the office, it's bad. If it's a sleeper bot with complete updates of our previous defence strategies programmed to murder us all in our sleep in the office, then it's a little bit worse. But at least we know one thing ..."

>PING<

"What's that then?"

"It's already in the office," I say, pointing at the large hole in our wall, "and hasn't attacked yet."

"So it's waiting for something?"

"Or someone. After you ..."

Six hours later ...

"It's the waiting that gets to you," the PFY says, with that hunted look problem-users often get when the lift stops working.

"I know," I concur. "I've looked everywhere and haven't seen a thing. It must have let itself out."

... Two days later ...

"Still nothing?" the PFY asks.

"No."

"What do you think it's waiting for?"

Next page: Suspicious stain on the seat discourages occupancy

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