Feeds

Educating Verity the OU way

'The skin of my C++ custard remained unruffled'

3 Big data security analytics techniques

The exam

OU exams are the proper deal: three hours on a hard chair at a wonky desk in a big hall with lots of other sufferers and a Rosa Klebb up at the front, invigilating firmly. At one point, there was a craze for having one's mobile phone go off halfway through, but these days Rosa seems to have got a grip: miscreants know they can expect two or three swift kicks in the shin with the poisoned spikes concealed in the toecaps of her sensible shoes.

Note that there is a ban on mobile phones at your desk, so you won't be able to use your smartphone as a calculator.

EMPIRICAL HEURISTIC OBSERVATION

Sort out an old-fashioned calculator well before you start out for the exam.

That way you won't do what, ahem, somebody did, and at the last minute accidentally and idiotically grab the online banking passcode generator gadget.

CASE STUDY: Living the exam dream

Someone asked on the module's web discussion board, about 24 hours before the off: "We are allowed to take in the course textbooks, aren't we?"

Thus he got to experience in real life what has been my "favourite" anxiety-induced nightmare for 30 years. Except I guess he probably chose to wear his clothes for the ordeal.

One thing that has changed since the exams of my youth: everybody (except me) now solemnly brings in a plastic bottle of water and places it on his or her desk. Why? An examination is not an arid desert that must be crossed. You don't get thirsty in three hours – not if you are concentrating on the matter in hand, you don't. Wimps.

CASE STUDY: Picnic

The girl at the desk next to me in the last exam brought in a complete picnic:

  • bottle isotonic Lucozade as no longer aids recovery;
  • bottle mineral water in case the Lucozade ran out;
  • Marks & Sparks luxury fruit salad with watermelon;
  • huge American-style chocolate muffin; and
  • bag of sweeties.

I looked up at the end, and she had scoffed the lot.

Remember the fuss they made when Rebecca Upton smuggled a packet of Spangles into A-level Geography? I begin to understand how society has gone to the dogs.

M865 course reviewM865 Project Management Graphic

Learning outcome

Although some courses come with graduation ceremonies and opportunities to be photographed looking a prat in a mortar board and gown, I believe this not to be the case with a PGDip, and regard this as an advantage of the qualification.

SAQ

What is the main practical use of a photo of someone dressed in mortar board and gown?

The BBC prefers this format when selecting photos of murder victims shown on TV news bulletins and  Crimewatch UK.

But despite all the homework traumas and exam panics, I really did enjoy the experience, and would recommend it.

Which is decent of me, actually. Got an e from the OU while I was finishing this article. I eagerly clicked it open, expecting congratulations on my glorious completion of all the necessary modules. But no. It was a message from the results-awarding computer, quite wrongly telling me that I was out of time to finish my registered course, so I could sod off, see if it cared.

Yup, these are definitely the boys to go to if you want to learn how to make great software... ®

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Ubuntu 14.04 LTS: Great changes, but sssh don't mention the...
Why HELLO Amazon! You weren't here last time
This time it's 'Personal': new Office 365 sub covers just two devices
Redmond also brings Office into Google's back yard
Next Windows obsolescence panic is 450 days from … NOW!
The clock is ticking louder for Windows Server 2003 R2 users
Half of Twitter's 'active users' are SILENT STALKERS
Nearly 50% have NEVER tweeted a word
OpenBSD founder wants to bin buggy OpenSSL library, launches fork
One Heartbleed vuln was too many for Theo de Raadt
Got Windows 8.1 Update yet? Get ready for YET ANOTHER ONE – rumor
Leaker claims big release due this fall as Microsoft herds us into the CLOUD
Batten down the hatches, Ubuntu 14.04 LTS due in TWO DAYS
Admins dab straining server brows in advance of Trusty Tahr's long-term support landing
Red Hat to ship RHEL 7 release candidate with a taste of container tech
Grab 'near-final' version of next Enterprise Linux next week
Apple inaugurates free OS X beta program for world+dog
Prerelease software now open to anyone, not just developers – as long as you keep quiet
prev story

Whitepapers

Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.