Airport screener stuffs stolen iPad into (own) trousers
Luggage larcenist admits $50K in nicked gadgets
Although US Transportation Security Administration screeners are encouraged to caress others' trousers, one blue-shirted crotch watchmen used his own as a temporary cache for an iPad he'd bagged from a traveller's bag.
TSA employee Nelson Santiago was spotted by a Continental Airlines employee as he was stuffing said Cupertinian foundleslab into his pants when inspecting luggage at a Florida airport.
The county sheriff's office told the Broward–Palm Beach New Times that after being arrested, Santiago admitted to having stolen $50,000 worth of kit in the past six months – "computers, GPS devices, video cameras, and other electronic merchandise".
Santiago was a marvel of efficiency: he'd photograph the equipment and upload the images to unnamed web-sales sites while still at work. Police told the B–PBNT that he would "typically" sell his booty before his shift was over.
Speaking of booty, the mass and circumference of Santiago's was not noted, but one can only assume that to conceal an iPad in his trousers, the now-ex-TSA employee cannot possess a fundament that might be deemed sylph-like.
Santiago may be facing grand-theft charges, but he's lucky to live in a society unlike the world of Gilbert and Sullivan's "More Humane Mikado", in which the punishment fit the crime. If that were the case, Santiago's felonious trouser-stuffing might be aptly punished by a enforced bout of ferret-legging. ®
Look at some of the TSA people who have been caught committing crimes. You have ones that have spread images from the full body scanners, another beat their boss up (the one spreading said images if Peewe around), others committing crimes. Hell, I have seen one use an electric rascal scooter to take one of their own out. When a terrorist does something at an airport out of the control of TSA (i.e. foreign) they come up with new security measures to make things even worse.
Would the TSA please show the American people just ONE terrorist that they have caught. That is all we ask for, one terrorist. We don't care about the hundreds of bottles of water, the numerous "knives" or the assortment of gels, aerosol or liquids above the 3.4 ounce limit either that you have stolen from the public either.
I think there is a greater chance for Stevie Wonder to pick someone out of a line-up than the TSA actually catching someone. Haiti has a better chance at getting into space than the TSA does catching a terrorist.
Note who turned the guy in
It was a Continental airline employee who turned this guy in. If it had been a TSA employee who saw the trouser-stuffing going on they would have just looked the other way.
Theft out of luggage is rampant, everyone knows it is, but the TSA never sees anything. Why would they? They're too busy grabbing the goods out of everyone's luggage.
In order to squeeze the clip you need at least one opposable thumb.